Phil Reisman

It’s hard to believe but the Beach Boys have been around since the Kennedy administration. They’re long past the “boy” stage—more like Beach Men.
In any case, they are performing tonight at the Westchester Count Center in White Plains. County Executive Rob Astorino will give them a proclamation declaring today Beach Boys Day in Westchester.
The press will get a chance to meet them later this afternoon. Any questions for them?
Let me know.
In the meantime, my favorite Beach Boys songs:
“Catch a Wave”
“Lonely Sea”
“Little Deuce Coupe”
“Wouldn’t It Be Nice”
“Sloop John B”
“California Girls”
“Help Me Rhonda”

Yes, Jeanine Pirro, the former glam-queen of the Westchester County law enforcement scene, has written what appears to be a roman a clef—her first novel—entitled, “Sly Fox.” It’s due out in July from Jeanine Pirro. Hyperion, $25.99.

Pirro is also the author of “To Punish and Protect,” a nonfiction account of her years as a crusading district attorney which was published ahead of her failed campaigns for the U.S. Senate and New York attorney general.
“Sly Fox” is set in 1976, well before Pirro’s tumultuous years in Westchester—a period in which she became a media star as well as a figure of derision, mostly because of the antics of her husband, Al Pirro, a lawyer-lobbyist who was imprisoned for federal income tax evasion.
The novel’s main character is one Dani Fox, a young idealistic assistant district attorney. Here’s a synopsis from Publisher’s Weekly.

“Dani, who’s been relegated to the appeals unit on account of her sex, makes the most of a chance opportunity to work directly with crime victims. When a veteran White Plains cop, Det. Tommy O’Brien, asks Dani for help with a battered bartender, Mary Margaret Hitchins, Dani visits Mary in the hospital, where she’s recovering from her husband’s latest assault. Since at the time New York law didn’t consider spousal violence a matter for criminal court, Dani must use all her ingenuity and political acumen to persuade her sexist bosses to allow her to pursue the case. Pirro’s experiences as a former DA and county court judge as well as the founder of one of the country’s first domestic violence units help distinguish this from the pack. Fans of the autobiographical legal thrillers of Linda Fairstein and Marcia Clark will find a lot to like.”

Sound a bit familiar? That’s because the premise is lifted right out of Pirro’s actual experience during the early years of her career.

More than 200 people participated in Westchester County’s annual water tasting contest today—and the winner was the Cortlandt Consolidated Water District.
I’m sure that was a big morale boost for Cortlandt. Let’s be real. Since all water pretty much tastes the same in New York, it’s likely somebody spiked it with gin.

One of the taste testers was County Executive Rob Astorino who commented, “They’re all good. Westchester’s very lucky to have terrific water supplied throughout the county.”
Wow, there’s boring diplomacy for you. Just once, I’d like him to do a Danny Thomas spit take and say, “This sucks! You call this cow piss water?”

It’s not Mount Rushmore, but the Washington Rock in Mamaroneck is impressive, if a little abstract…and it just so happens to be a stone’s throw from Rushmore Avenue.
Hmmm.
Well, a couple of more thoughts about the strange stone that carries George Washington’s likeness. People are always seeing images of famous people in rock formations, clouds and their morning oatmeal. Popular visions include Elvis and Jesus.
Me? I’m partial to the Washington images.
For instance, I like the small rock found in Arizona’s Santa Cruz River in 2007 which showed Washington’s profile on one side and Jesus on the other. That was a twofer.
Then there was the Sioux City Iowa woman who discovered Washington in a Chicken McNugget. Talk about historical preservation—she put thing in her freezer and then sold it on E-Bay for $200.

Around the turn of the 20th century, some laborers were blasting a rock formation at the corner of Orienta Avenue and the Boston Post Road in Mamaroneck. A curious thing happened as a result. The dynamite left behind an accidental portrait of George Washington on the rock face.

Sort of like seeing Elvis in the clouds over Grace Land.

I don’t know if it’s actually true that the accidental image of the first president was caused by construction work, (that was the theory around 1902) but it is true that the image exists because I’ve seen it myself. It’s weird.

It may also explain why for many years a restaurant that once existed at the location was called The Washington Arms. The restaurant closed in the 1980s or 90s.

Why do I bring up the Washington Rock now? Well, a fellow appropriately named Peter Fellows who is a member of the Mamaroneck Historical Society, is bringing attention to the curiosity at an event scheduled for May 5. He will give a short briefing on the rock’s provenance.

The event will also focus on the Battle of Heathcote Hill, which was really a skirmish, which took place in Mamaroneck during the Revolutionary War. Fellows also told me that he wants to stress the need to preserve the DeLancey House where James Fenimore Cooper lived briefy and wrote the novel, “The Spy.”

The war between the Yonkers Parking Authority and Mayor Mike Spano is now fully engaged. Today the YPA filed a lawsuit against the city to “protect its rights as an independent agency.”

Thursday’s column gave some background to the conflict which blew up in the face of Spano’s attention to close down the YPA and merge its operation with another city agency, such as the wholly separate Parking Violations Bureau. It seems to make sense. But the YPA cotends that the consolidation won’t save taxpayer money.

But taking out the powerful YPA, which was created in 1964, isn’t so simple. Former Mayor John Spencer found that out when he came up with idea about a decade or so ago.

Here’s a press release fired off by Bill Regan, the YPA chairman.

Bob Cohen, the Republican running for Suzi Oppenheimer’s state Senate seat was benefited by a redistricting scheme that added more Republicans in the 37th S.D., giving him a better chance at defeating his Democratic opponent.
Only thing was, he lived in Scarsdale and Scarsdale was left out of the new district.
So Cohen, a multi-millionaire, decided to move to New Rochelle.

Here’s the house he bought on June 16, 2011. It’s a practically brand-new McMansion built on the old Cherry Lawn Driving Range in New Rochelle.
Price? Well, if you to ask you can’t afford it. Well, if you insist. He paid $1.6 million and change.

It’s like the old joke about the chicken crossing the road. This just in—an idiot decided the best way to get across the Metro North Railroad tracks was to jump over the side and cross the tracks on foot.
In the rain…in the dark. Unbelievable.

Today’s column was on the beginning of the baseball with specific focus on New York Mets outfielder Jason Bay, who is being run out of town by angry fans.

Below is Bay’s $2.45 million house in the Manor section of Larchmont, according to celebritydetective.com

Banana-chinned funnyman Jay Leno zapped me on The Tonight Show last night. During his regular weekly feature, Headlines, he held up one of my recent columns.

The headline was “Corruption Can Sometimes Be Legal.”
Leno introduced it with the remark, “There’s a politician for ya.” You could easily make out my name and my smiley-faced photograph.

I think the joke was that he was setting me up as the politician. Who the hell knows…anyway it got a laugh from the audience.

For the record, the column was about former Yonkers Deputy Mayor Bill Regan, who managed to legally pad his final paycheck before leaving office.

Here’s something funnier than the headline. Leno probably doesn’t remember that years ago, when he was a senior at Emerson College in Boston, he dated my sister.