If panhandlers can sue on First Amendment grounds, then maybe they ought to report their “receipts” to the Internal Revenue Service and be taxed like the rest of us. Some of these guys pull in loads of money and wouldn’t Uncle Sam want a piece of that action?
I bring this up because of the case of a homeless panhandler by the name of Eric Hoffstead.

On Nov. 29, Hoffstead, 36, was arrested and charged under the state’s loitering law when he made the astounding mistake of asking a New Rochelle cop for a dollar. He also was charged with possession of a controlled substance.
Hoffstead is currently residing in a cell at the Westchester County Jail, an on-and-off address for the past few months as a result of missing a court appearance and a subsequent charge of trespassing at a public housing project.
But here’s the best part. Hoffstead now believes that getting thrown into the can for begging was a violation of his right to free speech. I love it…and you know his actual “speech” probably didn’t go much beyond, “Hey man, got any money?” His case rests largely on a 1992 federal District Court ruling that New York City’s enforcement of the state law was unconstitutional.
Nevertheless, more than 2,300 panhandlers have been arrested statewide since the ruling.
Hoffstead could very well succeed in this. And then what? If it comes down to the prospect of a free and open beggars bazaar, then government should step in and screw it up, just like it does with all forms of free enterprise.
Panhandlers should be licensed under an annual fee structure and forced to file tax returns. I can see it now: A Westchester County Panhandler Bureau, complete with staff, stamps and official certificates. Another whole bureaucracy would be created!

Somebody messed up over at Newsweek magazine and failed to include Yonkers High School in its annual ranking of the nation’s best secondary schools. YHS came in at No. 186 on the list of 1,200 schools.
I was notified of the oversight today by principal Richard Vigliotti.
Last year, I wrote a column when YHS made the magazine’s list and was ranked 375th. So they’ve made a significant jump,

Some people think lists such as this one are contrived…but better to be on a contrived ” best list” than a contrived “worst list.”
Anyway, don’t tell Vigliotti the recognition isn’t deserved.
“This is an outstanding achievement,” Vigliotti said today. “Our students are encouraged to meet the rigor and challenges of the International Baccalaureate courses we offer (17).”

Yes, we columnists actually congregate. It’s that time again, so break out the Hawaiian shirts, martini shakers and bail money!

This year’s booze and shmooze fest sponsored by the National Society of Newspaper Columnists is in Philadelphia. (There’s a joke in there somewhere.) I believe I’ve caught up on my dues, so I’ll be there, June 21-24.

The conference chair is Stu Bykovsky, a legendary columnist for the Philadelphia Daily News, a great tabloid with the classic slogan: “Making Enemies Since 1925.” Bykovsky once ran for mayor of the so-called “City of Brotherly Love” ( That’s a laugh—Ever go to an Eagles game?) and damned if he didn’t get enough petition signatures to get on the ballot. He was so popular, his editors feared he might sway the election, and he had to withdraw his candidacy.

The NSNC conference has some interesting guests, among them Bill O’Reilly who will give a breakfast keynote address titled, “Ideology in the Print Press.” Gee, I can’t wait. Got any questions for Bill? I’ll try to pass them on.

Want to get attention from the security forces at Playland Amusement Park? Just show up with a microphone and TV camera.

Today, I went there with Anthony, my cameraman, to tape a spot for RNN-TV and with the suspicison we aroused you would’ve thought we were infiltrating a sensitive defense installation. I don’t think Indian Point has better security.
First, we had to get permission to go onto the county-run park from the administration office. OK, no problem.
When we got inside, though, we were stopped no fewer than four times from various, humorless “gendarmes,” one of whom was a particularly sour-faced chap, who followed us around the midway. I asked the guy if he was listening in so he could report back to the Spano regime as to what exactly we were doing. He mumbled something about how we shouldn’t be there in the first place, and he was really just watching to see that we didn’t get run over by a maintenance cart!
What a guy—he was looking out for our safety. Such special treatment isn’t afforded to just any park patron.
Honestly, he had all the charm and humor of a KGB agent busted down to the job of guarding Kiddyland from the evils of the Fourth Estate. Bizarre.

Anyway, we got the job done. If you’re interested, the piece on Playland will air tomorrow between 5 and 7 p.m. on RNN, which is Channel 19 in most of the region.

Dan Gallo, Sr. of New Rochelle gives me some serious heck for mentioning Altoona, Pa. in a humorous context in Sunday’s column about high school proms. (See angry letter below).
You never knew who you’re going to offend and for what reason. This time it’s somebody who’s been to Altoona and apparently loves the place. I’m sure Altoona is great.
I tried to come up with funny names for towns. I could’ve come up with Sheboygin, or Toledo or Carbon City…or Verplank. Altoona is a funny name and suited my purposes.

As did Voorheesville, a town outside Albany. I used Voorheesville in the column, too, and I haven’t heard squat about it.

But I’m sure Voorheesville has its fans as well, and I eagerly await a call from the Voorheesville Booster Club or from tourists who have been there, sampled the many attractions, drank the water—and lived to talk about it.

“Dear Mr. Reisman,

I think you insulted those living in Altoona, PA with your writing in the subject newspaper on 5/22/07. You wrote ‘There’s probably some tragic 40-something year old guy somewhere who’s been to dozens of proms over the course of an underachieving lifetime and thus has assumed the unofficial title of “Prom King” of, say, Altoona or Vorheesville.’

Your probably were trying to be amusing, but you lead the reader to believe that citizens of a great little city called Altoona (in Pennsylvania) are tragic and underachieving. You are dead wrong. The people of Altoona have built the finest railroad engines and cars in the nation and host the very busy Norfolk Southern Railroad and famous “horseshoe curve”, where over 40 trains a day climb the Allegheny mountains bringing both freight and passengers both east and west. The city of about 100,000 has a great new stadium where the AA minor league team, the “Altoona Curve” play baseball. The air quality of the city is great, while Westchester County’s air is foul and unhealthy. Senior citizens 55 years and older get excellent discounts at restaurants, too. The people are friendly and hardworking. They make eye contact with you and are sincere.

I think you owe a written apology to the readers for misleading them into thinking Altoona is a town of losers.

You have my permission to reprint this Email in any publication.”

Today’s “High Noon” radio program will feature an interview with my friend and associate, Gary Stern, who covers religion for The Journal News.

Stern will discuss his recently published book, “Can God Intervene?/How Religion Explains Natural Disasters,” (Praeger Publishers, www.praeger.com). The book touches on the age-old question of God’s existence in the context of the great tsunami of 2004 that killed 230,000 people in Indonesia and India.

I highly recommend this fine work by a nationallly recognized journalist.

Listen in today at 12 noon at 1460 AM on WVOX or if you are out of the immediate listening area, log on to www.wvox.com.

What’s got people thinking about Hillary’s run for president. Is it her stance on Iraq?
Her past membership on the Wal-Mart board of directors?
How about her dubious attempt to overhaul the health care system back in the day when Bill was the U.S. prez?
NO! People are wildy interested in her campaign theme song competition. As of yesterday, more than 100,000 votes have been registered on her Web Site. Hillary also has a funny video (running on YouTube) inviting people to choose among nine pre-selected songs, or e-mail an alternative suggestion.

Robert Barrows, a public relations executive from Buringame, Calif., who made an unsuccessful bid for Congress last year, saw Sunday’s column on this topic and contacted me via e-mail.

“I know a song she WON’T be using,” he wrote.

It’s called “Run for Office,” which Barrows composed in 1998.

“The song is not about Hillary.” he said. “It’s about politics in general”
Click on Barrows. and you’ll get his Web Site. Look for the song title on the right side of his home page, and you can hear a sample.

Goes something like this:
“Get elected. Get respected. You even get yourself protected.
Which race is open? I’m ready to go! Toss in my hat and here comes the dough!”

This is the perfect presidential campaign song for Hillary Clinton. Come to think of it, it’s the right theme music for just about any of the 2008 candidates.

The lyrics and melody Plastic People by the late Frank Zappa fits so well in my opinion that I’ve decided that you readers should take a listen and decide for yourselves. Click on the audio button.

Hillary asked for it! She is the only candidate who has taken the bold step to ask the American people to pick a tune for her, one that best suits her wild and crazy ride to the White House. Log onto her Web Site, and you’ll find a list of nine songs from which to choose.

As I said in Sunday’s column and on the previous blog posting, I’m not in favor of any the songs offered. But since she’s an inclusive democrat (small ‘d’), Hillary has allowed voters to e-mail their own campaign pick.

So I’m urging everyone to get on the Clinton Web Site and vote for “Plastic People.” It’s a winner.

Sunday’s column is about Hillary Clinton’s interactive effort to get her fans to vote for any one of nine pre-selected pop tunes to serve as her campaign theme. Google the Web Site. I’m not bothering with the link.

The list is somewhat disappointing. For example, the Clinton people do not offer, “Da Doo Ron Ron” in honor of Phil Spector, the famous record producer who is currently on trial for murder. Not a few voters would rather she didn’t ron, ron.
Still Hillary has a pretty funny video, appealing for voters. And if you don’t like her list, you can e-mail your own ideas to her. I’m sure they’ll run the gamut of taste.

Here’s two:
REASON ONE: Gasoline prices are out of control, and there’s no real explanation for it. Except greed.
The spike in car fuel is now reportedly hitting average families to the tune of an extra $1,000 a year. One official from Triple A in California put it best, saying, “It’s like we’ve been hit with an extra tax.”
That’s exactly what it is—an extra tax. Who benefits? The oil companies, of course, the guys who are reporting record quarterly profits.
The explanations are always the same—the situation in the Mid-East, the post-Katria problems with oil refineries, etc. But how is it that in light of those problems, the consumer gets poorer and the seller only gets richer?
Triple A is calling for a federal investigation.

REASON TWO: Closer to home, there’s Con Edison, the utility that performed so poorly during recent wind storms that kept people in the dark for weeks. Now they’re seeking a rate increase! They’re requesting a 17 percent hike for New York City and Westchester homeowners and a 10.7 percent increase for businesses.
Give some credit to County Legislator Martin Rogowsky, D-Harrison, for demanding that the county’s Public Utility Service Agency to go before the Public Service Commission and say, “Enough is enough!”
Rogowsky said the increase is “outrageous” since Con Ed, just like the oil companies has been raking in big bucks. Their first quater profits amounted to $256 million, a 41 percent boost over last year.