Don’t Eat the Yellow Snow Either
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- June
- 1
Ah, kids. Whaddya gonna do with them?
A note went out to Valhalla school parents this week, notifying them that a 10th grader “may have” spiked a school cafeteria ketchup dispenser with urine. Nice. Now you can add another ingredient to Heinz 57.
In the meantime, all dispensers were removed and replaced with ketchup packets.
Ramos-Kelly said that it was not know whether any student actually consumed any of the tainted sauce but officials from the Board of Health advised that “urine is a sterile fluid and one would not expect adverse health reactions.”
The reminds me of a cafeteria story from my freshman year in college. This idiot took a dare that for money he would drink an entire concoction of gunk made up of dinner scraps, table seasonings and other barely edible things we could stuff in a tall glass. The liquid ingredients included carbonated Sprite, milk, gravy, salad dressing and coffee. Then came the leftovers of potato skins, meat chunks, lima beans, etc. Salt and pepper shakers were emptied into the emulsion, too.
I forget how much money was put on the table, but the kid drank the whole thing and promptly threw up.
No doubt if urine had been added, he still would’ve downed the heinous mix. I remember he also bit off a chunk of the glass. Needless to say, he wasn’t a honors student. Few legends are.
This entry was posted
on Friday, June 1st, 2007 at 12:04 pm by Phil Reisman.
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Phil Reisman is a veteran journalist and native of Westchester County. He began his career in 1977 as the head copy boy of a startup New York City newspaper that quickly went belly up. Reisman was not to blame for the newspaper's failure, or so he claims.
Camel Vichysois
Years ago I worked the midnight to dawn kitchen shift at the St. Regis Hotel. The ancient soup chef, Mario, craved company, and would play cards with me for hours at a time. Since smoking was forbidden in the kitchen, the only place we could flik our ashes was in the 75 gallon tureen containing tomorrow’s soup stock. The old guy claimed it heightened the flavor. (He was, after all, soup chef at the St. Regis.)
Lesson: Always bring your own sandwich.
Especially if Jesse Jackson is working at the restaurant.
Hi Phil:
We all have similar stories to tell, particularly when we look back at our high school and college days.
But—and I hate to play the gender card here—how come it’s always the men/boys? I had some very good male friends in high school whose idea of a good time was to see if they could flip over their VW Beetles while driving like crazy people.
What’s up with that?