Dumb Press Release of the Week

November

The “Nanny State” continues to thrive in Westchester, where County Executive Andy Spano has issued an astonishing number of health directives, holiday-seasonal warnings and public safety edicts—all designed to save us from our worst enemy. Which is us.

Some day, he will issue an executive order saying we must stay regular with free castor oil treatments. We must do this to set a good example for our children—and if we don’t, fines will be imposed.

The lastest press release from Spano’s busy workshop warns us that winter is coming. No joke.

It starts this way: “As the cold weather returns and the heating season begins, County Executive Andy Spano is warning residents to take the time to keep their home and families safe.”

Spano specifically warns against the hazrds of fire and carbon monoxide poisoning. He suggests we check our alarms to make sure they work and get our chimneys cleaned.

I feel better already. I can’t wait for February, when Andy warns us that spring is coming, and after that the scourge of summer when it gets dangerously hot, and the bugs come out and the e-coli bacteria invades our hamburger meat, and the crazy squirrels climb into our chimneys and eat our babies and illegal fireworks go off and kill everybody and outdoor pools drown everybody and blah, blah, blah.

This entry was posted on Friday, November 2nd, 2007 at 6:54 pm by Phil Reisman.
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2 Responses to “Dumb Press Release of the Week”

LEONARDOUGH November 3rd, 2007 at 8:35 pm
Calm down Phil.Have some Jeno’s Pepperoni Pizza.I know what’s really bugging you.It has to be the hatchet job your new publisher is doing on your column.In case you haven’t noticed ever since you returned from your trip to the Adirondacks your column has been infiltrated with ads.Oh sure it was subtle at first.But then slowly your Phil Reisman space has been over run with car ads.And now as they shrink you further, color photos share the coveted page 1 of the, Your World Section.At least they haven’t stuck advertisement stickers on your face as of yet.As for crazed squirrels a neighbor of mine was affected by this furry rodent.It wasn’t pretty and she said getting a squirrel baffle on the chimney was definitely a sound investment.
ed November 4th, 2007 at 9:24 pm
Re: Roaches at Clarkstown No. H.S.

So get a qualified exterminator and get the roaches out of there. Why does every problem need editorials, executive committees, ad hoc committees, PTA conferences, student-teacher conferences, pundits, and the Supreme Court to get rid of a bunch or roaches? All of this nonsense speaks to the inefficacy and effeminization of our culture. SOMEBODY – make a decision, and move on. The next thing we’ll get is a taxpayer funded phone message from Andy Spano on how to deal with roaches.

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