As I’ve already posted on this blog, Westchester magazine recently published a profile Westchester County Executive Andy Spano titled, “Andy Spano Make Lunch,” in which the author reported that the imperial chief lives a pretty comfy life.

On the day of the interview, Spano had four vehicles parked in the driveway at his Yorktown Heights home. One of them was a county-owned limousine and the other was a county-owned SUV.

I wrote about the magazine piece in last Thursday’s column. And I mentioned with high hilarity the observation of the limo and SUV, neither of which are environmentally friendly and in keeping with Spano’s carefully cultivated image as a fighter against greenhouse gases.  In the column, I said that the next time I get one of those self-serving press releases from Spano, I will think of that gas-guzzling SUV in his driveway.

Well, ask and ye shall receive.

Today one such press release landed on my desk. Audobon New York and the Audubon Council of New York State announced that Spano was named the 2008 recipient of the William Hoyt Environmental Excellence Award.

According to the announcement, the award is “presented annually to an elected official in recognition for work above and beyond the normal call of duty to advance critical solutions to the most pressing environmental issues.”

Nice going!

This is for the listeners of my “High Noon” radio program on WVOX—all five of you. There will be no show tomorrow, Thursday.

Sorry!  I have some personal business to attend to.  And unfortunately, my eccentric sidekick, Frank “Buddy” Waller III does not possess the self-confidence to do the show solo. Either that, or he still doesn’t know how to find the studio on his own.

Don’t despair. We’ll be back next week. In the meantime, I’m sure the station operators will pipe in a temporary replacement that is equally entertaining like the “Ave Maria Hour” or perhaps syndicated program on pet care.

 The Compensation Advisory Board met again today to discuss the issue of whether or not the Westchester County Board of Legislators should get a pay raise.

Board Chairman Bill “Boss” Ryan is seeking substantial across-the-board increases for all 17 members, but he’s personally seeking a 40 percent raise over his current salary of $89,200. 

The compensation board is trying to determine exactly what the part-time legislators do and how to measure their productivity and performance. That’s tough to do, considering that a legislator can do a lot of work, or do practically nothing at all. It’s really up to the individual.

Bill Mooney, the president of the Westchester County Association, who chairs the compensation board, zeroed in today on the board’s full-time chief adviser, a fellow by the name of Gary Kriss, who is paid $156,000 a year. Mooney said that was a huge amount of money and wondered what Kriss did to earn it.

Kriss should be worried.

At one of the compensation board meetings, Ryan submitted his own job description. Perhaps Kriss wrote it for him. It’s tortuously long, and in a recent column I picked out excerpts and commented on them. But here’s the whole enchilada.
CHAIR OF THE WESTCHESTER COUNTY BOARD OF LEGISLATORS

The Chair of the Westchester County Board of Legislators presides over one of two co-equal branches of County government (the other being the Executive Branch, which the Legislature created in 1939).

Established in 1683, the Legislature is the original and only branch of county government required under the New York State Constitution.  The Legislature sets policy for Westchester County by means of laws, acts and resolutions, which is then implemented by the Executive branch.  In addition, the Legislature oversees the functioning of the entire County government, including the Executive branch and it is directly responsible for a $1.8 billion budget, allocating and monitoring the funding for every aspect of County government. Besides levying taxes, only the Legislature can incur indebtedness on behalf of the County and must oversee the proper use of any monies so realized. Further, the Legislature is charged with reconceptualizing and reorganizing County Government, when necessary, through its sole powers to create, organize, alter or abolish departments, commissions, boards, bureaus, offices and employments and/or transfer their functions and duties.  The Legislature is in charge of all real property of the County and has ultimate authority over acquisition, disposal and leasing of the same.

As its leader, the Chair guides the Legislature’s vision, as well as the direction and the concrete action steps needed to realize that vision.  The Chair is the presiding officer of a Board composed of 17 Legislators, each elected every two years from a single-member district with 55,000 people. As such, each Legislator is responsible to his/her constituents for protecting their local interests as well as the interests of the County as a whole.  In this respect, the Chair must be an expert consensus builder, capable of melding different philosophical and political views into a unified intent. The Chair is expected to function in a full-time executive capacity, free from any outside constraints, in the running of the Legislature’s operations.  This includes effectively organizing, controling and maximizing the staff and other resources necessary to carry out the Legislature’s duties and responsibilities as spelled out by the Laws of New York State and the Laws of Westchester County.

The Chair of the Legislature must be prepared to handle highly sensitive issues that require tact, discretion and responsiveness in dealing with elected officials from other branches and levels of government, representatives of the business and non-profit communities, the press, constituents and others.  The Chair is expected to provide leadership for the Legislature in areas such as intergovernmental relations, public affairs, administration and government operations. The Chair confers on an on-going basis with the County Executive on matters pertaining to the functioning of County government and the delivery of services to its residents.

As the head of the Legislature, the Chair coordinates all policy decisions—expressed through laws, acts and resolutions—that relate to the County and its nearly 1 million residents.  The Chair establishes and oversees specific policy for the operation of the Legislative branch of County government and is responsible for all aspects of its day-to-day operation including monitoring a $4 million budget and, in the course of this, performing such functions as overseeing cost accounts, implementing cost controls and reviewing and approving accounts payable.  It also includes the daily supervision of a staff of 41, which takes in regular meetings and conferences to review and evaluate their work as well as hiring, firing, disciplining and promoting.

Among other things, the Chair directs and executes all activities of the County Legislature.  The Chair develops and manages the Legislature’s annual financial/budgetary plan.  The Chair provides leadership in creating strategic, tactical and financial plans for the County Legislature.  The Chair develops goals and establishes performance measures for the legislature.  The Chair oversees organizational and staff development.  The Chair serves as the principal liaison to the public and to other branches/levels of government and outside organizations.  The Chair directs all central communications efforts of the Legislature and oversees its public outreach vehicles such as news releases, publications and the internet

Also, the Chair establishes the Committees of the Legislature, appoints their chairs and members and oversees their functioning.  The Chair schedules, sets the agendas for and presides over all Board meetings, and is responsible for insuring an orderly flow of business.  The Chair develops and provides appropriate external policy recommendations for consideration by the County Legislature.  The Chair is responsible for the orientation of new members of the Board and their staff.  The Chair is the chief spokesperson for the Legislature and attends events all over the County and beyond as the representative of the Legislature.

In addition, the Chair maintains membership in those national and state organizations of county and municipal officials as is necessary to keep informed of emerging issues of significance to the people of Westchester and, through those organizations, to lobby when appropriate on their behalf.  As a consequence of these memberships, the Chair must be prepared to accept the responsibilities and extra duties of leadership within these organizations.

The Chair serves, by law, as one of three voting members of the Westchester County Board of Acquisition and Contract. In this capacity, the Chair must each week review, analyze and make a determination on whether to vote to authorize dozens of contracts involving millions of dollars.

By law, the Chair serves as a member of the Westchester County Capital Projects Committee and as one of two members of the Consumer Policy Board. The Chair also serves as a member of the County’s Records Retention Committee and, consistent with current technology, oversees a records retention system that meets evolving legal standards.

The Chair appoints individuals to various County Boards and Commissions as required by the Laws of Westchester County.  The Chair serves as a member of all committees of the Westchester County Board of Legislators.  The Chair supervises the outside, independent audit of the entire County government.  By Memorandum of Agreement between the County government and the Westchester County Health Care Corporation, the Chair serves as a member of the Financial Improvement Committee of the Westchester Medical Center and is the only elected official to do so.

Consistent with the Legislature’s authority over real property and its power to allocate Housing Implementation and New Homes Land Acquisition Funds, the Chair works closely with the County Executive in determining Westchester’s economic development and affordable housing efforts.  Further, the Chair directs the Board’s legal consultants and, when necessary, advises the Legislature on legal matters that it might either initiate or have to approve and oversees any subsequent actions.  And the Chair directs and oversees any technical advisors that may be necessary for the Legislature to discharge its duties.

Owing to the nature of the position, the Chair interacts with a County-wide constituency, which includes addressing queries, answering mail, responding to problems and meeting with residents from all parts of Westchester.  And the Chair meets regularly with the numerous contract agencies that the County uses for the delivery of services to consider matters such as changing financial requirements, effectiveness in reaching performance goals and the implementation of new programs to address expanding or shifting social needs.

In addition to all of the above, the Chair must fulfill all the same duties and responsibilities as the other 16 County Legislators with respect to representing the constituents of his or her specific legislative district.

The April issue of Westchester Magazine includes a gooey little feature story on Westchester County Executive Andy Spano making a scrumptious, nutritious  lunch in the kitchen of his Yorktown Heights home.  In case you’re interested, his dish de jour is a Middle Eastern-inspired delight cooked in a steamer.

But that’s not what makes the article funny, and uh…well, unintentionally revealing.

Start with the accompanying photo of a smiling Spano in a chef’s oufit slicing and dicing onions on a cutting board.  I believe the picture to be genuine, but there’s something really weird about it.  The angle of Spano’s head makes it look like he has no neck, creating the effect that his noggin was superimposed on the body.

The writer is trying to be light and breezy in his puffy prose, but let’s slip with a few things that will remind fiscal critics of the imperial trappings and perks enjoyed by the three-term incumbent. At the outset, we see Chef Andy cruising the Food Emporium in Yorktown with his bodyguard. Hey, danger must be lurking in the frozen meat section.

Spano’s  house, “a modest Cape” is mentioned, but so are two other houses in Saratoga and Fort Lauderdale. He has four cars in this driveway, including a county-owned limousine and a county-owned SUV. That’s right, an SUV. So much for environmental conservation, huh Andy?

It turns out Andy’s been cooking “since his first divorce in 1974.”  Ouch. And in his house there’s a harp he got on one of his “junkets” to China. Ouch, again.

The story also has a tiny scoop. Spano says he’s going for a fourth term. “Why not? I like what I do,” he says.

In the annals of anal-retention, this one must take the cake. It’s a March 11 memo dispatched by Larry Schwartz, the “Brain,” half of the “Pinky and the Brain” duo that runs Westchester County government. (Andy Spano is the”Pinky” half.)

It was sent to county commissioners and department heads. It reads as follows:

Re: County Letterhead Template Update

During the last few years, county stationery has featured the water logo to communicate the need to save water. While water conservation is an important goal, it would appear that with respect to our vigorous campaign to promote recycling, all letterhead should now promote the Reduce-Reuse-Recycle symbol. Since all these forms of paper can and should be recycled when disposed of, the change in logo is both appropriate and timely. Effective today, I have instructed the IT/Graphics to include on all printer orders for in-house materials a logo for our recycling efforts.

Your cooperation is needed to ensure that all your letterhead and other appropriate material carry the Reduce-Reuse-Recycle logo. Graphics is prepared to formate your materials when you request printing of new stationery orders.

Thank you.

Schwartz carbon copied the memo to four different offices—the Department of Information Technology, DoIT Graphics, the bureau of purchase and supply and finance commissioner.

Reminds me of Woody Allen’s movie, “Bananas.” Next we’ll see a memo demanding that all county personnel speak Swedish and change their underwear three times a day.

Gov. David Paterson’s startling admission that he had extra-marital affairs was a politically calculated strategy meant to preempt the sensation of any independent snooping into his private life.

I have a problem with this for two reasons.

First, did Paterson ever think about the women he carried out these liaisons with? By outing himself, he unilaterally outed them, too. And one of them, Lila Kirton of White Plains, has had to suffer the humiliation of having her name and photo plastered in the pages of every newspaper in town. Her life as a married mother, must be a living hell right now. Chivalry and honor once were virtues. No more.

Second, Paterson’s preemptive strike has officially made it OK for reporters to ask every candidate, who wishes to serve, whether or not they’ve had affairs in their lives. It’s no one’s business.

We will be talking about this and other political matters on the radio today at noon. Tune in to “High Noon,” at 1460-AM or log on to wvox.com.

Calls will also be taken at 914-636-0110.

UPDATE: Here’s the podcast:

Download:

There’s been a lot of talk about the salaries of Westchester County officials, but it occurred to me that taxpayers might want a list of the jobs and the money that goes with each position from county executive down to senior office assistant. Click on this to get the list.
westchester-county-salary-schedule2.pdf

 It seems that Westchester County Execuite Andy Spano is strongly wedded to the idea of moving the county Board of Elections to 450 Saw Mill Road in Greenburgh for a total of $13,3 million, which includes the purchase price and cost of renovations. After all, the building is owned by Jon Halpern, a big Spano fundraiser.

So I doubt the administration appreciates any alternative ideas. But here’s on from Greenburgh Town Supervisor Paul Feiner. He thinks commercial building owners should compete for the sale of their buildings in an open  bidding process.  In other, make it a fair process with a level playing field. Gee, how’s that for a novel ide>

Here’s Feiner’s letter to Spano in full.

“Dear County Executive Spano:
“I would like to propose that the County of Westchester encourage building owners to bid for the right to sell their vacant commercial or office building to the county  of Westchester as a possible location for the Board of Elections headquarters. Although I personally believe that the location should be on or near White Plains (the seat of county government), I realize that there may be other considerations——such as cost.
“The county should create a non partisan committee (which would include the League of Women Voters) to review the various proposals. Three suitable locations should be proposed to the County Executive and Board of Legislators. The county would then choose one of the three finalists. Frequent bus service to and from the Board of Elections site should be a requirement.
“Many localities, including Greenburgh & our school districts, worry about the loss of taxes if the county purchases a building and locates the building in the locality. The county is currently exempt from paying taxes to the school district, town, village and fire districts. Another suggestion: The county could help the community that is chosen to house the Board of Elections out by agreeing to pay the community the taxes that would be owed to them.
“When the county purchases a building residents should know that the 1) county has selected the best location; 2) is getting the best price for the building.
PAUL FEINER
Greenburgh Town Supervisor”

Every now and then, I am reminded why it is that cults are so disturbing. The behavior of the mindless followers makes me weep for the human race.

They have no worthwhile identity of their own, so they must bask in the charismatic aura of their designated hero—a sports figure, a religious zealot, a corporate dictator, a preening rock star, or whoever.

Cult followers are fawning, unquestionable worshipers, who often fork over ridiculous amounts of money to their maximum leader. They speak in code. They cannot relate to normal, everyday people who just “don’t get it.”

These pour souls drink so much Kool-Aid that after awhile I doubt they even bleed real blood. The essential fluid that feeds their brains, I believe, is a toxic blend of battery acid and day-camp bug juice.

In the company of their heroes, they are eerily happy people. Happy, happy. Joy, joy. They are so happy and joyous, they would even consider it an honor to inhale the flatulence of their Chosen One.

I love this land of America. But I worry about its future. To see what I mean, click “here”:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knBNX_evIOo.

 Well,  you knew this was going to happen. Client 9 has become an instant commodity..Somebody already has an online “contest”:http://www.client8.com/ to determinewho is Client 8. Ha, ha. The winner doesn’t get a  prize. And already numerous Web sites have sprung up, selling Client 9-Spitzer “T-shirts”:http://www.zazzle.com/client_9_t_shirts-235381396662129174 Check it out.