We’re going to talk about the governor’s rise and fall (Is that a pun, or am I just seeing double meanings in everything these days?) on my “High Noon” radio program today on WVOX, 1460 AM and www.wvox.com.

Tune in or log on at 12 noon. Our guest on the phone will be Jay Gallagher, a veteran journalist and Albany bureau chief for Gannett News Service.

Calls will be taken at 914-636-0110.

UPDATE: Here’s the podcast of today’s show. Enjoy.

Download:

If Eliot Spitzer was “Client 9,” then who are clients one through eight?

Discuss this among yourselves.

During the Spitzer fiasco, I’ve been making a point of watching the idiotic morning TV news shows just to see how hopelessly stupid our culture has become. It’s a good thing to touch base every once in awhile.

I wasn’t disappointed. Today Fox Five’s host-duo (requisite leggy blond and older male clown) had real-life prostitutes on the air to tell us—hey, they have had a lot of rich clients and many of them were celebrities and politicians. Politicians? Yes, said one of the prostitutes named “Baby Doll.” As a matter of fact, she revealed, one of them was a “former lieutenant governor of Texas.”

Wow, what a scandal. That’s sort of like being assistant dog catcher in the village of Elmsford.

Yesterday, I caught the end of a segment on The Today Show in which three so-called sexperts were talking to Meredith Viera about why it is that men stray. One of them said, it’s never, ever the fault of wives…Uh, OK.

But I swear one of the other morons said that Spitzer’s prominent, ridge-like brow is indicative of a super-charged testestarone level that pushed him to have sex with call girls. Who said the science of phrenology was dead?

I wonder what the Geico cavemen think about this startling find.

If you read or heard Gov. Eliot Spitzer’s brief statement yesterday, you might have been struck by a couple of  things.

First, he apologized to his family, but he does not mention by name his poor wife, who suffered the humiliation of standing next to him in the glare of the TV lights.  After that, he apologized to the public, “whom I promised better.”

OK, so on the one hand he admits to being accountable. And then, in the next breath, he seemed to deny his accountability by saying, “I do not believe that politics in the long run is about individuals. It is about ideas, the public good, and doing what is best for the state of New York.”

That’s awfully close to a sociopath’s rationale.  If policy-making isn’t driven by the force of individual will, then why do we bother electing anybody to high office?

Spitzer could have just as well said, “Pay no attention to that call girl behind the curtain.”

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I still wonder if he’ll resign. Odds are good that he will.  If that happens, then Lt. Governor David Paterson takes his place.

A lot of attention has already been paid to the line of succession. But here’s something else to consider: If Hillary Clinton wins the Democratic nomination for president and goes on to defeat John McCain in the general election, who takes her place in the U.S. Senate?

If that happens, then Paterson, as governor, would have the power to fill her seat. Paterson, himself, had been a strong contender, if not Spitzer’s first choice.

This is all speculative, and assumes a Clinton victory in November, which I have never counted out, even during the worst moments of her presidential campaign. But if the stars align in a certain way, Spitzer’s fall from grace could be the best thing that happened to some ambitious Westchester County pols:

Here’s one possible alignment.

1. Spitzer resigns.

2. Paterson becomes governor.

3. There’s no provision in state law to name a replacement for Paterson. But Assemblyman George Latimer, D-Rye, has a bill pending, “A07167”:http://www.assembly.state.ny.us/leg/?bn=A7167, that would allow a sitting governor to fill the vacant lieutenant governor’s seat.

4.  Latimer’s bill miraculously passes and becomes law.

5. Paterson names U.S. Rep. Nita Lowey, D-Harrison to replace Hillary in he Senate.

6. Paterson names Latimer as the new lieutenant governor.

7. New Rochelle Mayor Noam Bramson, a Lowey favorite from way back, runs for her seat in the 18th Congressional District and wins.

Only some of this will happen.

In a few minutes, Gov. Eliot Spitzer is going to give a press conference concerning allegations he was involved with high-priced hookers. This is an amazing melt-down in record time of a once promising career.

Here’s a guy who got 70 percent of the vote…and from the get-go he’s stepped into one political mess after another. Let’s see there was Trooper-gate, the tussle over the naming of a new comptroller, the impasse over drivers licenses for illegal immigrants…And now this!

What on earth will Spitzer do? Will he resign?

Here’s my strategy: He should use the conference to propose a state law legalizing prostitution. It should be retroactive, of course.

It’s his only hope.

That’s what “High Noon” second banana Frank “Buddy” Waller III called Barack Obama on today’s show on WVOX.

If you missed the entertainment, you can hear it on the blog archive. Waller’s intemperate comment was made during a lively one-hour discussion about the latest round of Democratic primaries which saw Hillary Clinton best Obama in three out of four states.

I questioned Hillary’s claim that she is the best candidate to be commander-in-chief. And then for laughs I did a riff on her infamous “3 AM” commercial in which she stars as the guardian of America’s sleeping children. The only call Hillary has ever gotten at 3, I suggested, was from her husband looking for his pants at a Yonkers motel.

Buddy, who is a shameless Hillary lover, argued that her credentials for the job of U.S. maximum leader are beyond question. He pointed to her service on the Senate Armed Forces Committee as proof. Yes, he was serious.

Is it time to get a new sidekick?

UPDATE: Here’s the podcast. Sorry for the delay.

Download:

Today’s column compared Westchester County Executive Andy Spano and his right-hand man, Larry Schwartz, to the famous cartoon characters, “Pinky and the Brain.”

Spano is Pinky in this relationship and Schwartz is the diabolical Brain, who as I recall sounds a great deal like Orson Welles. Anyway, here they are—and in case you didn’t know, Pinky is the mouse on the left and the Brain is the mouse on the right.

Today is my son’s 23rd birthday, which actually reminds me of a personal story about Pat Buckley, the wife of William F. Buckley, the conservative author, editor and host of TV’s “Firing Line,” who died last week.

Before my kid was born, my wife, Rebecca, worked as a fact checker for Town & Country Magazine in New York. She didn’t get paid much—it was a Hearst publication—but a side benefit was that she had numerous opportunities to meet and talk to interesting people. During the course of her work, she developed a friendly telephone relationship with Pat Buckley, who was frequently contacted on stories having to do with high society.

Mrs. Buckley knew everyone who mattered. She was very friendly and loved to chat. Somehow the subject of children and my wife’s pregnancy came up, and that started another long digression from the research and fact checking at hand.

Anyway, when my kid was born at New York Hospital on March 4, 1985, among the congratulatory gifts was an elaborate floral arrangement and a card from Pat Buckley. She was a kind and classy woman—and so was her husband, even if you didn’t agree with him politically.

Pat Buckley died in 2007 at the age of 80.

Here’s a “video”:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oi4mwu0KFCA
giving the latest on plans to make a tourist attraction out of Sing Sing Prison. Oh, why not?

More than one out of 100 adults in the United States are now behind bars. We boast the highest jailbird population in the world. Prison is a growth industry.

There’s money it. What Sing Sing needs is a water slide.