It’s time to call the vampire hunters. Hillary Clinton is the undead. She’ll never quit this race.

Never.

And I hope she doesn’t.

I”m having so much fun watching this insanity, that it would be a shame for her to drop out. Crazy Hil should take it all the way to the Democratic Party convention, and beyond. Yes, beyond!

If Obama should happen to win the presidential nomination, Hillary should show up to his inauguration and declare a Yogi-ism that it’s not ever until it’s over. And even if it is over, it’s not really over until SHE SAY IT’S OVER, DAMMIT.

Then I hope Hillary starts stalking him with nutty pranks, like making phony phone calls to the White House at 3 a.m. That would be funny.

But seriously folks….

Here’s the thing that gets me. After losing North Carolina and barely squeaking by in Indiana, Hillary not only seems determined to stick to a losing cause, she’s starting to whine again. Now she says if the Democrats followed the same primary rules as the Republicans, she’d be the presumptive nominee by now.

Think about that. Then consider all this polling talk that something like half of her supporters won’t vote for Obama if he becomes the nominee. Instead, they’ll vote for John McCain.

Maybe Hillary Clinton should join the GOP next time. In fact, here’s a strategy: She should switch parties and lobby to become McCain’s running mate!

As it, she’s spending all of her precious fortune to chase her Quixotic dream. The Clintons have $109 million and she’s forked over about one-tenth of it to her campaign. That’s like tithing, isn’t it? Before you know it, she’ll have to put the house in Chappaqua on the market to raise cash.

If you want to join the conversation on this and other items in the news, tune into my radio program, “High Noon,” at 12 p.m. today. My guest will be Matt Davies, the Pulitzer Prize-winning cartoonist for The Journal News.

That’s 1460 AM, or log onto www.wvox.com. Calls will be taken at 914-636-0110.

UPDATE: Here’s the podcast of today’s show:

Download:

“Boss” Bill Ryan should have accepted the April 30 pay recommendations from the Compensation Advisory Board from the start.

Instead, the chairman of the County Board of Legislators sat on the volunteer panel’s suggestions that the board accept modest raises tied to the Consumer Price Index going back to 2006 and that the raises only go into effect on Jan. 1, 2010, or after the next election. Ryan, of course, wanted much more.

And so he just thanked the advisory board for its hard work and waited… and waited.

Finally,  Legislator Mike Kaplowitz, D-Somers, who as vice chairman, ranks second in authority, seized the proverbial bull by the horns. Last night, Kaplowitz was the first among the 13-member Democratic majority to put out a statement which forced the issue.

By the end of  what was reportedly a tumultuous evening, the board actually decided to take less than what the advisory board recommended by accepting raises indexed to the CPI, but not retroactively.

The four-member Republican minority put out its own statement, saying they were against any raises.

In the end, the board did a smart thing politically. But Ryan, as he has all throughout this disgraceful process, looked bad. It took Kaplowitz’s initiative to settle the controversy.

He told staff writer Glenn Blain: “We’ve handled this badly, and I think our better days are ahead of us.”

Those words must be stinging to Ryan. Is he losing control of the board?

In today’s column,  I took aim at the junkets enjoyed by the Westchester County Board of Legislators, who, thanks to the generosity of taxpayers, have traveled to Hawaii, Scotland, San Francisco and other places.

I got a special kick out of the 2005 convention in Honolulu attended by County Legislator Tom Abinanti, D-Greenburgh. He was among 3,000 members of the National Association of Counties, Or NACo, who, on the last day of the six-day junket, were feted by a shower of 5,000 lavender orchids and plumerias.

That little tidbit came from the Hawaii Tourism Authority newsletter. What I didn’t mention in today’s column was a comment from Bobby L. Agee, a commissioner from Chilton County, Ala.

Agee had a great time in Hawaii. And he said so.

“I’ll take the aloha spirit back home with me,” he said. “I’m going to be a much better person just for having experienced the people here in Hawaii.”

Aloha spirit? Gee, I’ll bet the people of Chilton County would settled for a pineapple or an autographed photo of the late Don Ho.

I was cleaning out some junk in my office not long ago and found a 1989 issue of People magazine featuring the 25 “most intriguing people of the year.”

Fame is fleeting as the old cliche goes. But some of the people on this list are all but forgotten, if not totally irrelevant in today’s celebrity currency.

Let’s take a look.

George Herbert Walker Bush: Newly minted prez back then. Photo shows him pushing twin granddaughters, Jenna and Barbara, on a swing.

Roseanne Barr: She still had that stupid TV show. This was well before the National Anthem fiasco.

Athina Onassis: The three-year-old daughter of Christina. I wasn’t aware of her then, let alone now.

Lisa Marie Presley: Spawn of Elvis and future brief wife of the kooky Gloved-one. “Can Elvis’ little girl avoid the pitfalls of fame that doomed her daddy?” They must have been kidding!

Benazir Bhutto: She came back to Pakistan, a fatal mistake 19 years later.

Liz Taylor: Of course.

Michelle Pfiefer: She had three hit movies in 1989. She’s now on the Whatever-happened-to list.

Jesse Jackson: Somewhere over the Rainbow Coalition, he was actually taken seriously as a presidential candidate. He still rhymes his platitudes.

Phantom of the Opera: Is old scar face still on Broadway?

Merv Griffin: Ooooh, Merv’s dead.

Anne Tyler: Author.

Orel Hersheiser: Good pitcher for champion Dodgers.

Jodie Foster: She was 26 then, and making a comeback after years of being the object of “Taxi Driver” nut job John Hinckley.

M. Butterfly. Whoddat? Apparently, he was a man who pretended to be a woman, inspiring a play by that title.

Kevin Costner: Is that the sound of somebody throwing up?

Flo-Jo: A Korean Olympian who was “ready for stardom.” I don’t think so.

David Hockney: British painter.

Jessica Rabbit; The cartoon babe.

Stephen Hawking: This guy is still intriguing. In fact, he defies explanation.

Tom Hanks: See Kevin Costner.

Fergie: Fuggedaboutit.

Tracy Chapman: Good singer. Hard to believe it’s been that long since she came on the scene.

Sage Volkman: Sad inclusion of a child who was badly burned in an accident in New Mexico.

The Cyberpunk: A nod to the dawn of the computer hack. “Conceived in the pages of science fiction, he comes alive to hurl the modern missiles at the heart of the computer civilization.”

Mike Tyson: This was the Robin Givens era, well before he bit off Holyfield’s ear, had his face tattooed and did a stretch in jail.