Everybody’s talking about the presidential race, but I just want to make some observations about the local races for state Senate and Assembly. Here’s a rundown:

NASTIEST COMMENT: There are so many to choose from, but the winner might be Rob Biagi, the Republican challenger running for the 91st Assembly District against Democratic incumbent George Latimer of Rye.

“Speaker (Sheldon) Silver tells George Latimer where to sit, when to speak, how to vote and what issues he should run on,” said Biagi.

MOST HUMILIATED SPOUSE: Martin Oppenheimer, the hubby of Sen. Suzi (Shmoozie) Oppenheimer, the forever incumbent from Mamaroneck, was caught on camera parking in a handicap parking space. This triggered a bizarre exchange of comments from both Oppenheimer’s campaign and that of her feisty Republican opponent, Liz Feld, the mayor of Larchmont, who put out the statement, “Not only did Suzi Oppenheimer secure a handicap parking medallion for her husband to use (while he played tennis at a “Posh Mamaroneck club”), he also used state-issued license plates. This is a trend—years ago, he was caught parking…in a handicapped spot at his gym—at least four times.”

TOO MUCH INFORMATION: This goes out to Republican incumbent Greg Ball of the 99th Assembly District. It seemed his entire campaign against John Degnan, the former mayor of Brewster, centered on whether he sexually harassed a former worker. In his effort to discredit the woman, he alleged that she kept a plastic penis on her desk.

It’s been a dirt campaign in other ways.

A few days before the primary in September for the 99th AD, a guy was arrested for de-facing Degnan signs along Route 6 in Mahopac. It turns out the guy busted was an employee in the New York State Assembly, and the guy who bailed him out was Matt Neuringer, who is on Greg Ball’s assembly staff.

DUMBEST CANDIDATE: Jim Faulkner, a Republican running against Mike Spano in the 93rd AD in Yonkers, said that environmentalists were Communists. He said this after proposing that the state sell leasing rights to drill for oil in the Long Island Sound where there is no oil.

BEST CHILDHOOD STORY THAT REALLY HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING: Yonkers City Councilman John Murtagh who is running for Senate against incumbent Andrea Stewart-Cousins in Yonkers, told a harrowing tale about his house being firebombed by the Weather Underground in 1970 when he was eight years old. Murtagh’s father was a state Supreme Court justice at the time.

The Murtagh campaign put the story out in a glossy mailer on the premise that it showed he knew about terrorism firsthand and was therefore in favor of being tough on criminals. But he allowed himself to be used by Sean Hannity of Fox cable fame when he told the story on Hannity’s ridiculous documentary that attempted to pain Barack Obama as a bosom buddy of Weather Underground figure, William Ayers.

NOTE TO ALL NEW YORK REPUBLICANS : Reviving the evils of the radical 60s and calling people Commies, Reds, pinkos, etc. might work in some parts of the country, but it just doesn’t work here. After election day, the GOP will be compelled to re-invent itself, and this tired tactic has had its last gasp.

THE SHAME OF THE UNOPPOSED: Free passes back to Albany are going out ot Assembly members Adam Bradley of White Plains and Richard Brodsky of Greenburgh and State Sen. Vincent Leibell of Patterson.  All three are unopposed. And we wonder why state legislators seem to have lifetime sinecures.

Got any more? Feel free to chime in.

Today’s guest on “High Noon” will be Kate Kelly, author of “Election Day: An American Holiday, An American History.”

Kelly is also a blogger for the Huffington Post.

Tune in at 12 noon at 1460 AM or log onto wvox.com.

Calls will be taken, as usual, at 914-636-0110.

Ed Rollins, the Republican consultant, told me today what the polls have been telling everybody—Barack Obama will be elected the next president of the United States.

“John McCain, I think, is going to go down pretty big,” said Rollins, a Bronxville resident who has been a key adviser in numerous presidential campaign back to 1984 when he served as Ronald Reagan’s National Campaign Director.

Rollins said in a brief phone interview that McCain might’ve mustered a more competitive campaign if he had  Obama’s resources, but a combination of factors did him in—principally having to run in the shadow of the unpopular George W. Bush while the economy was tanking.

When McCain began his campaign it was all about who was best suited to be the nation’s Commander-in-Chief, said Rollins.

“But I think at this point in time, it’s who’s the better Economist-in-Chief, and that’s not his great strength,” Rollins said. “Sometimes it’s better to be lucky than good. John was kind of in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

As for Sarah Palin?

Rollins said she was “untested in the national environment” and that campaign handlers failed to help her get through the grueling process. However, he praised her for energizing the GOP base.

“The sad part of this is that she’s a talent—she’s become a polorizing figure—but she’s a talent,” Rollins said. “And I think with a different team around her, she could become more effective.”

He predicted she will return for the 2012 race.

“She obviously has to go back and get re-elected in Alaska,” he said. “I think she’s going to be a very popular Republican. And every Republican in the country is going to want to have her come do fundraisers and those kinds of things.”

Palin now has the most important currency a politician can possess, Rollins said. “One hundred percent name I.D.”

In other words, no longer will it be Sarah Who? But Sarah What’s Next?

Rollins fully expects that she will return in four years.

A couple of years ago, Westchester County sponsored a “Turkey Bowl,” in which contestants at the Playland Ice Casino were invited to knock down bowling pins, using frozen turkeys as balls.

Food pantries were outraged over the waste of food, since the battered and bruised birds couldn’t be recycled for actual human consumption. The county learned a hard lesson in political correctness…but this year they are not deterred. They’ve come up with an idea for a new Turkey Bowl for Saturday, Nov. 22.

Here’s a direct quote from a press release heralding the event: “Turkey Bowl contestants will be challenged to knock down bowling pins by skillfully sliding a FROZEN RUBBER BIRD down the ice for a strike.”

That’s right. It’s a fake fowl, and they’re actually going to freeze it. Where are they getting this thing—Spencer Gifts?

And the answer is: Anything having to do with sex.

While businesses are cutting back and laying off people, the strip club known as Sue’s Rendevous is looking to expand its Mount Vernon den of sexual titilation. They’ve applied for a variance, asking the city’s permission to add a second floor.

In good times and bad times, sex sells. It’s a growth industry that reaps billions and billions of dollars in Internet porn, triple-X movies, videos and strip clubs. It’s so huge that it actually helps shore up the mainstream economy. Porn adds handsome profits to swanky hotel chains, telecommunication firms and even at one time—now get this—General Motors.

That’s right. GM, the teetering car company that makes cars nobody wants to buy, actually had a lucrative piece of the porn action when it owned the national satellite distribution service DirecTV, which featured raunchy programming for households from here to Timbuktu. GM sold its DirecTV interests to Rupert Murdoch, who if nothing else, knows how to make a buck.

No wonder GM is looking for a federal bailout.

There have been some great presidential debates in the history of our nation. The Lincoln-Douglas debates come to mind. But how about the debate between Batman and his nemesis, the Penguin?

Now that was truly a great debate. Does the Penguin remind you of anybody in particular? How about this guy?

I have to hand it to Joe Maddon, the manager of the Tampa Bay Rays and a college classmate of mine.

Joe guided the once lowly Rays to the American League championship, which is remarkable all by itself. But more amazingly, he achieved this feat with the second lowest payroll in baseball.

Out of the 30 teams, Tampa Bay ranked 29th with $43,422,997 in player salaries. Only the Florida Marlins pay less with $22,650,000.

The New York Yankees, as always, were tops in 2008 with a staggering payroll $207, 108,489—and look where that got them. The Mets, who choked again in the stretch, came in second with $137, 391, 376, followed closely by the Detroit Tigers, $137, 290, 196.

The Tigers had mightily beefed up on expensive free agents this year and many baseball experts predicted they would finish first in their division. They weren’t even contenders.

So what does this prove? The obvious answer is that money doesn’t necessarily ensure high-quality performance. The Yankees have squandered millions of dollars on aging veterans as well as a baseball luxury tax that, once this year’s bill comes due, will increase the team total to something in the neighborhood of $150 million for the last six years.

That’s obscene, especially since the Yankees haven’t won a World Series since 2000 when they beat the Mets.

But that’s not all this proves. It also proves what a good manager Maddon is and how important strong people skills are in moving an organization forward. And by organization, I don’t just mean baseball. I’m taking about all places of work.

Look at the money issue this way. Richard Fuld, who ran Lehman Brothers into the ground made $71.9 million in total pay, or roughly the equivalent of the San Diego Padres ENTIRE payroll, which ranked 19th in compensation among teams.

The Rays success didn’t happen by magic. Good decision making and good communication had to be essential ingredients to get got the best out of a team of mostly young, but talented players. As a matter of fact, Tampa Bay’s average age is 27.7, making it the fifth youngest team in the Majors.

It’s a leadershp lesson for all bosses to follow. And Maddon was always a leader, going way back to his days as a catcher at Lafayette College in Easton, Pa.

Maddon and I were both in the class of ‘76 and lived on the same dorm floor in our freshman year. I remember him as an outgoing friendly guy who was mature beyond his years.

Way to go, Joe. Congratulations.

I saw this airport reunion of a father and his little girl on MSNBC this morning. Please watch it.

Remember our troops and their families.

The third and last presidential debate last night reminded me of the 1960 square-off between John F. Kennedy and Richard Nixon—and how television has transformed our perceptions of candidates.

The hot medium of TV loves cool cats like JFK and Barack Obama but is brutal on the pale, blinking and scowling countenances of Nixon and John McCain. The recent PBS American Experience biography on Nixon delved into this phenomenon at length, mentioning Nixon’s fatal decision not to accept makeup before going on the air. The result was that he looked shifty and untrustworthy.

Nobody can ever look as bad as Nixon, but I thought McCain had some unfortunate moments during last night’s debate when the camera caught him in split screen with a tight smile and rapidly blinking eyes, giving the overall impression that he was seething and about to blow his stack. I wondered if McCain might’ve come across better if I had listened to the debate without a picture.
McCain’s mind must be blown. Throughout all the debates he must have been thinking, “How can this guy with no real experience be kicking my butt in the polls? How can this be?”

McCain is barely concealing his contempt for “That One,” as he referred to Obama in the second debate. Last night, I detected a little bit of Jack Nicholson in McCain’s frustration, as if he was going to suddenly deliver an over-the-top tirade like the You-can’t-handle-the-truth scene in the film, “A Few Good Men.”

I thought he was on the right track with idea of reaching for a real person like  “Joe, the plumber.” The only problem with it, though, is that plumbing is one of the few recession-proof professions out there. I can’t feel too sorry for this average Joe. He’ll be OK.

It’s Joe the autoworker, or Joe the airline steward I’m worried about.

Well, yes it has. But in this case we’re talking about real dogs…you know, canines. More specifically, we’re talking about the stuff they leave behind and the law commanding  their masters to clean up after them.

That’s the topic for the first half of “High Noon,” the radio program that airs today at 12 noon, on WVOX, 1460 AM (wvox.com)

My guest will be Michael Brandow, who wrote the recently published book, “New York’ Poop Scoop Law: Dogs, the Dirt, and Due Process.” The book covers the explosive, culture-changing law that began on the mean streets of New York  City in the early 1970s. It might seem like a goofy subject, but there’s more here than meets the eye…and nose.

Anyway, tune in. We’ll discuss last night’s debate during the second half of the show. Calls will be taken then at 914-636-0110.