Larry Schwartz, aka “The Brain,” won’t be leaving Westchester County  government for the greener pastures of the governor’s office. without a proper send off.

A cocktail reception will be held in his honor on Jan. 29 at Doral Arrowwood in Rye Brook. This is according to a photo copy of an invitation that was slipped to me by a Democrat, who does not intend to show up. The cost of admission is $45 per person, which includes a gift.

“If you are unable to attend, you are welcome to contribute toward the gift,” the invitation says.

Gee, what can you give to the man who already has everything?

All this talk about federal bailouts and stimulus packages may be a cause for greed. Be warned. I just got the following e-mail at work. It’s a total scam. Read it:

After the last annual calculations of your fiscal activity we have determined that
you are eligible to receive a Stimulus Payment.
Please submit the Stimulus Payment Online Form in order to process it.

Regards,
Internal Revenue Service

The message then directs you to a phony-baloney Internal Revenue Service site that asks for certain critical information, i.e. Social Security number, that is essential to identity theft. This particular scam is already known by the IRS—that is to say, the real IRS—which  warns that anyone who gets sucked in  will quickly find their savings accounts wiped out. Anyone getting the pfishing e-mail should report it to the IRS at phishing@irs.gov

“In reality, taxpayers do not have to fill out a separate form to get a stimulus payment or have it directly deposited,” The IRS says. “All they had to do was file a tax return and include direct deposit information on the return.”

Presumably, Larry “The Brain” Schwartz’s departure from the confines of the Westchester County Executive’s office presents a golden opportunity to shrink the county payroll just a tad, um, about $160,000, not including bennies. By going to work for Gov. David Paterson, he’ll up his pay to $178,000  a year.

That’s a substantial raise over the increaase that County Executive Andy Spano unsuccessfully tried to slip to him and to a bunch of other county commissioners and department heads during the last budget go-round. Schwartz comes out a winner.

Schwartz will be replaced by Sue Tolchin, who is currently the chief adviser/ director of communications to County Executive Andy Spano.  The chief adviser side of her job will be eliminated. But the communications half of her job will be filled by two people (two!)

You can go crazy thinking about this stuff, especially when you contemplate the twisted logic. If the chief adviser portion of Tolchin’s job, could be eliminated, then it must have been superfluous all along. Right? That leaves only half a position.

And how is it that two people are needed to perform the other half of Tolchin’s responsibilities? If that’s true, then it  seems to me she should have been a part-time employee and only making one-quarter of her $155,245 pay all along.

Anyway, people are watching to see if they don’t sneak another hiring into the equation. The following is a statement from Greenburg Town Supervisor Paul Feiner, a Spano nemesis who heads a movement to “rethink” county government.

I was pleased to read that Larry Schwartz is stepping down as Deputy County Executive. This resignation provides County Executive Andrew Spano with the opportunity to cut the size of county government. We don’t need a Deputy County Executive. And… New York State doesn’t need a Lt. Governor (we haven’t had a Lt. Governor since Governor Spitzer resigned and David Paterson took office). The responsibilities of Deputy could easily be handled by other members of the county government.
One of the problems with our county government is that it is top heavy—there are too many administrative positions. Eliminating the office of Deputy County Executive would send the public a positive message that the county is listening to the complaints residents have about excessive county government.
PAUL FEINER
Greenburgh Town Supervisor

Gov. David Paterson mishandled the delicate task to name a Senate replacement for Hillary Clinton. There is little doubt about that.

Paterson looked unsure, indecisive and even clownish at times. Underestimating the huge egos involved, he created an unnecessary rift between his administration and Caroline Kennedy, who wanted the job, despite having no experience in elective office. Had she actually been appointed, Kennedy would have quickly earned the unkind nickname of “Senator You-Know” in recognition of her rather surprising lack of talent for retail politicking and lackluster speaking skills.

In the end, Paterson selected Kirsten Gillibrand, a 42-year-old, relatively unknown congresswoman from upstate Hudson.

Funny, but there may be a tremendous upside to this. For one thing, I think it’s a plus for every day New Yorkers that the downstate liberal elitists who control the Democratic Party are in a snit over Gillibrand. They’re already ridiculing her as a light weight, and they hate her conservative views.

It drives them absolutely crazy that an upstater who never paid into their mutual backscratching system got such a plumb position. A lot of the New York/Metro region hacks think upstaters are nothing but moonshine-drinking crackers, and don’t deserve a share of power. Trust me on that—I know.

I was amused by one widely quoted comment made by an anonymous political consultant who was critical of the governor’s performance.

Of Paterson, he said: “He’s managed to anger in one full swoop, the Kennedys, the Cuomos and the Clintons. That’s a pretty good trifecta.”

Who the hell cares? I don’t care for a second that these so-called first families of New York politics are ticked off. Good! Maybe, this will teach them to take their highly evolved sense of entitlement and stuff it where it belongs.

Gillibrand may not have been Paterson’s first preference. But he ultimately made a decent choice that embraced a brand of inclusivity that’s not all that well understood by the New York elite, who have a low tolerance for people who don’t live where they live and don’t think like they think.

But the governor blew it by letting the process drag on too long, and by incessantly musing about it out loud and in public. His “job application” form was a ridiculous joke. In particular, he should’ve made up his mind a lot sooner over the one figure in this drama, who had the least experience and therefore was the most prone to being bruised by the down-and-dirty process of New York politics—and that was Caroline Kennedy.

Who knows…Gillibrand could be a lousy senator. But if she is, voters will soon have a chance to kick her out of office. In the meantime, she should stick to her guns and tell the political bullies to shove it.

There’s no doubt about that.

Choosing a competent

Today’s political shocker is that Larry “The Brain” Schwartz, the deputy county executive is leaving the cozy confines of Westchester County to work for Gov. David Paterson.

Schwartz is called “The Brain” after the cartoon character because he provides most of the thought process for the incumbent emperor, County Executive Andy Spano, aka “Pinky.”

No more Larry…It’s hard to believe. We loved his crazy office memos and his diatribes, known as “Larry Grams,” which he fired off to editors and various political opponents.

What will Spano do now? The Brain did just about everything, short of tying Andy’s shoes.

And now, he’ll be first deputy secretary to the governor, which is very high up in the food chain. This tells us that Paterson’s office is in a state of disorganization and needs a fix-it. Here comes The Brain with a wrench!

Word has it that Schwartz will be replaced by Sue Tolchin, and that her post as chief adviser will not be filled. Here’s a bet: They do replace her at some point down the line, but change the title.

The following is the full press release sent out today from the county’s Office of Propaganda.

DEPUTY COUNTY EXECUTIVE LARRY SCHWARTZ TAKING STATE JOB;
SUSAN TOLCHIN APPOINTED AS REPLACEMENT

How do you grade President Barack Obama’s first day in office? That question and more will  be presented today to a couple of my regular “High Noon” political pundits—Republican consultant Mike Edelman and Jeff Binder of the Strategic Political Group.

Listen to the discussion live on WVOX radio, 1460 AM or log on to wvox.com. The program begins at 12 noon.  Calls will be taken at 914-636-0110.

Every now and then, I like to share the thoughts of readers. Today, I’m posting an e-mail from somebody (I left out the name) who disagreed with today’s column about Barack Obama and his exceptional oratorical ability.

You can read it yourself. I won’t go through a long point-counterpoint response except for a couple of things. The reader disagreed when I said Obama’s words are what ultimately matters. Only deeds matter, he said.

He’s right. Deeds do matter. But my point was that the content of Obama’s speech mattered above the entertaintment-driven pomp of the Inaugural. It’s one big, seemingly endless party filled with a lot of celebrity garbage, not unlike the annual Super Bowl.

The new president’s words also matter because it’s the content of his message against which we will measure the success or failure of his future deeds. Can he lead? Can he inspire? Can he unify the nation and serve effectively to pull us out of this terrifying economic mess?

Words do matter. It’s important to have an articulate president who can clearly state his vision for the country. Frankly, I don’t know how a president can lead without possessing at least a modicum of rhetorical gifts. And I don’t know how anyone can follow a president who can’t say where he’s going.

ANYWAY, HERE’S THE READER E-MAIL.

Let’s not get carried away with this whole Obama thing. Let’s not put him on Mt. Rushmore just yet. Yes, his election is a historic one. Cynics might say that, considering what the other candidates represented, Obama’s election was a foregone conclusion. Any comparisons to JFK, FDR, Lincoln and/or Dr. King are way premature. Barack Obama has not done one single thing for the American people yet. Let us not forget that he is after all, a professional politician who has incurred many debts, both financial and political, on his way to the White House. The investors will want a return on their investments. As Don Corleone rasped to the bakery owner “Some day I may require a favor of you”.

You say that what ultimately matters, is Obama’s words. I strongly disagree. What ultimately matters are Obama’s deeds. I, for one, am sick and tired of flowery phrases, pie-in-the-sky plans and resounding promises from politicians. Talk is cheap. Do you recall “Read MY lips, NO new taxes”? Those words sure have lasted!

Let us just hope that the Congress forgoes its usual partisanship and works with President Obama to help our country recover. Let us hope that the same people who are praising Obama now are not trying to bury him few months down the road. President Bush Jr. started out with an approval rating of over 60%. As of today he would be lucky if it was in the low teens.

The artist Andrew Wyeth died last week at the age of 91, which reminded me how much I love the painting “Master Bedroom” , which shows a dog soundly sleeping on a bed. Art critics think Wyeth was a schlock realist, but who cares what they think…I mean I really do get the feeling sometimes that the so-called great modernists, with their cubes, rectangles and splotches of paint, secretly can’t draw at all.

I also have a strong feeling that a lot of dog owners have prints of “Master Bedroom.” When I got a print, we had it framed because we thought Wyeth’s dog looked like ours, despite her pink nose. That’s a photo of Amy, who is a “mixed lab,” whatever that means. When we told the guy at the art shop that Amy looked like the dog in the famous painting, he sort of scoffed and said, “That’s what everybody thinks.” Ok, well at least Wyeth was accessible to Philistines such as I.

Soon, Gov. David Paterson will finally choose somebody to fill the U.S. Senate seat about to be vacated by Hillary Clinton. The betting has been heavy on, um, you know, Caroline Kennedy. You know?

But Attorney General Andrew Cuomo is, at the very least, the number two contender. No doubt, he wants it baaaaad.

But he didn’t tip his hand today when he gave a speech at a private breakfast heald at the Regency Hotel in New York City.

On getting the Senate nod, he said: “I’m not going to  comment on the senate seat.  The Governor, as the Peoples representative, votes for the People.  I’m the Attorney General of the State of New York.  I’m the People’s lawyer.  I’m also the Governor’s lawyer.  I’m not going to engage in any unseemly ‘political theatrics.’  I have too much respect for the Governor … and for my own office.”
Cuomo has done more than a credible job as attorney general, a job he likes.

” I love public service,” he said.  “I love the people of this state who gave me a second chance to make people’s lives better.  I put my head on the pillow at night and feel good about that.

“My daughters are trying to plot out their lives … the trips, the cars they’d like to have, the houses … I try to tell them all that matters is:  are you using your talents to make people’s lives better?  That’s really what it’s all about.  That’s really what matters …”

Of course, if they had a special election, I could run. I still have a lot of bumper stickers leftover from my 2000 write-in campaign against Hillary. If you want one, send me a self-addressed stamped envelope  c/o The Journal News, 1 Gannett Drive, White Plains, N.Y. 10604, and I’ll ship one out to you.

Sam Zherka, the highly litigious, renegade newspaper publisher who has assumed a leadership role in the cause to eliminate county government in Westchester, will be a guest on my “High Noon” radio program, Thursday, Jan. 15.

The show airs at 12 noon on WVOX, 1460 AM and streams live at wvox.com.

Zherka owns The Guardian, a weekly newspaper based in New Rochelle that regularly scolds (scalds is a better word) a panoply of local officials—County Executive Andy Spano, DA Janet DiFiore, Yonkers Mayor Phil Amicone and so on. His personal feuds with them have quickly become the stuff of legend and lawsuits. Lots of lawsuits. In fact, you can’t tell the litigants without a docket sheet.

Of all the battles, however,  the most incendiary involves DiFiore.  Zherka, whose other businesses include real estate and New York City “gentleman’s clubs” claims that DiFiore called him an “Albanian mobster” and was instrumental in making him the subject of a New York City grand jury investigation in retaliation for a scathing piece he published about DiFiore’s husband. He said after the story ran, DiFiore called him up and threatened him. The DA said he allegations were “patently false.”

Zherka also sued Amicone and the city of Yonkers on First Amendment grounds after dozens of his newspaper honor boxes were confiscated.