The state Democratic convention just concluded at the Rye Town Hilton in Rye Brook needed something to liven it up.
Some comedy was provided by Curtis Sliwa, the conservative radio talk-show host and leader of the Guardian Angels, who showed up at the Hilton dressed as King Cuomo II. His performance was captured on video.
Accompanied by a “town crier,” Sliwa attempted to read off six decrees that basically accused Cuomo of being a pompous bore who has benefited from nepotism.
Before he was whisked away by security, he handed out his decrees to an appreciative press corps.
ONE: I am not a liberal, nor am I a conservative. I don’t even consider myself a Democrat or Republican. The only label I wear proudly is that of…a NEPOTIST!
TWO: Ask not what you can do for your country, ask what your father can do for you.
THREE: As King Cuom II, I pledge to make speeches that are even longer, even more boring, even more filled with bureaucratic doublespeak then (sic) those of King Cuomo I.
FOUR: I guarantee you that I will visit all 62 fiefdoms in Cuomolot and in each on, I will forever ban the abusive and corrupt practice of “press conferences” instead replacing them with a daily regal conference call.
FIVE: I will NEVER allow myself (or any member of my regal administratio) to appear on NY1 for a sitdown interview.
SIX: I will build upon the foundation I laid as federal housing czar and not just make it easier for the indigent ot get subprime mortgages, but I’ll make it mandatory. In fact, I will authoritze a subprime mortgage to every homeless person in New York State!!!