It’s well documented that the 2013 New York Yankees are aged, anemic, injury-plagued and generally decrepit. It seems that every day a player comes down with something requiring long periods of rest and even surgery.
To date, the disabled list includes Alex Rodriguez, Curtis Granderson and Mark Texiera—all of them key power hitters who are heading into the twilight of their careers.
I fear the Yankees will badly stink this year. Here’s my nightmare lineup.
1. Ichiro Suzuki, right field
So far, so good. Right? Ichiro is a great player, even at 39. I think he’ll make it to opening day.
2. Hank Steinbrenner, second base
Along with brother Hal, hH’s one of the sons of the late George Steinbrenner, who was a bully and a tyrant but demanded a winner, and usually got one. Hank and Hal just want to make money.
3. Eduardo Nunez, third base
A scrub who can run but has little power and fields like a Little Leaguer.
4. Roy Hobbs, Designated hitter
The Natural. He’s older than dirt, perfect for the geriatric Yankees.
5. Pete Balboni, first base
Former Yankee prospect who had a couple of good years in Kansas City. His nickname was “Bye-Bye,” but we say, hello again.
6. Don Zimmer, shortstop
Zim. Rub his head for luck!
7. Charlie Sheen, left field
He’s been in two baseball movies. Therefore, he qualifies. Tiger blood. Winning. Whatever.
8. Jose Feliciano, center field
He can also sing The National Anthem. Can drive the ball to all fields.
9. Francisco Cervelli, catcher
Yes, even on this team, he bats ninth.
Warming up in the bullpen….
CALVIN COOOLIDGE. Why not? He’s having a comeback year.
