The answer, of course, is yes, he was better off four years ago. Ah, remember the good old days? Like the R.E.M song says it's the end of the world as we know it.

Back when,  Bush had all that "political capital" he was planning to spend. And you do remember what he was going to spend it on? That's  right! He was going to push for the privatization of Social Security. The idea was based on the notion that the individual citizen could best determine his or her future by opening private accounts with their benefits invested in Wall Street.

A lot of people were against it then, and the idea went nowhere. But now it looks positively insane, given the great financial meltdown not seen since the Great Depression.

The irony is amazing. Bush pushed for the so-called "ownership society," and look what happened. With the $700 billion Wall Street bailout on the table, Bush is pushing for ownership, alright. And it's the federal government that's going to be the owner.

My guests will be Prof. Ron Filante of Iona College's Lubin School of Business and Jerry Gleeson, a business writer for The Journal News. Listen in by tuning into WVOX at 1460 AM or log onto wvox.com

Calls will be taken at 914-636-0110.

Every time you got a paycheck, you cashed it—and stuffed the bills into a mattress. You never bought a house. You only rented.

You did this for years because you didn't anyone to meddle with your money. People laughed at you. After all, without bank interest or the return from stocks and bonds, inflation was killing the value of your money. And renting? That was stupid because hey, that meant you could never deduct the taxes and interest on a home mortgage.

You didn't care. It was your money and no one was going to touch it, except you. Then one day, the Wall Street house of cards collapsed. And the federal government decides it wants to bail out the high-flying investment banks with a blank check to be filled out in the amount of $700 billion or more.

That means they're going to take your money, without your consent, and invest it in worthless securities on the vague premise that maybe some day, but nobody knows when, the junk securities will be worth more than the paper it's printed on. In other words, you are an investor, an owner really, of busted brokerage houses—whether you like it or not. This bailout is going to cost the average American family $5,000 and maybe more, according to some estimates I've heard.

The greedy executives on Wall Street broke the system, and while they want you to fix it with your tax money, THEY STILL WANT TO RETAIN OWNERSHIP, AND PROFIT FROM OWNERSHIP.

So here's what Congress should do. If the taxpayers are footing the bill than the people should profit from the investment. Just like there's no such thing as being slightly pregnant, there's no such thing as half-way nationalization. If this bailout deal goes through, then the Wall Street firms being saved are no different than national parks, which we, the people, own. All of us.

The Woody Guthrie song applies. This land is your land, this land is my land. Only change the lyrics. This bank is your bank, this bank is my bank…

"If and when the Democrats ever invite me to speak," I told the group, "I'll have to wear another button like this one." With that, I held up a blue and white Andrew Cuomo button that was distributed during his successful race for New York attorney general.

One or two people laughed at my attempt at humor. After all the son of the former governor, who was once a member of the Clinton administration and was even married for a time to a Kennedy, could be thought of as the ultimate Democrat.

That's why I hooted yesterday while watching John McCain's interview on "60 Minutes."

McCain had been widely quoted for saying that once he took office as president he would fire Christopher Cox, the chairman of the Security Exchange Commission, for his alleged negligence leading up to the mother of all financial crises. The candidate admitted he wouldn't have the power to cashier Cox, but would force his resignation. Then he said he would replace him with Andrew Cuomo.

My guess was that McCain was trying to demonstrate his bipartisanship by throwing out the name of a northeastern liberal as an answer to the country's economic woes. It seems McCain has been expending a great deal of effort to distance himself from his own party and certainly from the policies of George W. Bush.

But Cuomo? It's not that there aren't plenty of people from both parties to point a finger at for the current mess…but Cuomo's role as secretary of the Department of Housing and Urban Development has certainly come under major scrutiny. And it's a wonder that McCain didn't know that before he blurted out his name during his interview with "60 Minutes" correspondent Scott Pelley.

I was reminded of Cuomo's HUD performance by Wayen Barrett, who wrote a long piece, titled "Andrew Cuomo and Fannie and Freddie," about the attorney general's tenure under President Bill Clinton. The article appeared in The Village Voice last month.

Writes Barrett:

"Andrew Cuomo, the youngest Housing and Urban Development secretary in history, made a series of decisions between 1997 and 2001 that gave birth to the country's current crisis. He took actions that—in combination with many other factors—helped plunge Fannie and Freddie into the subprime markets without putting in place the means to monitor their increasingly risky investments. He turned the Federal Housing Administration mortgage program into a sweetheart lender with sky-high loan ceilings and no money down, and he legalized what a federal judge has branded "kickbacks" to brokers that have fueled the sale of overpriced and unsupportable loans. Three to four million families are now facing foreclosure, and Cuomo is one of the reasons why. "

Barrett goes on at length about how Cuomo has tried to paint himself as a white knight in the subprime meltdown, but then, try to find anyone who's pure.

McCain, who is nearly every day surprising us with his views of the nation's financial troubles, said Cuomo would restore "credibility" to the marketplace.

Listen to the show on WVOX, 1460-AM or log onto wvox.com. Calls, as always, will be taken at 914-636-0110.

Now Liz Feld's aggressive campaign to paint incumbent state Sen. Suzi Oppenheimer, D-Mamaroneck, as a disengaged politician who doesn't care about property tax relief has gone to TV with a new 30-second attack ad.

The campaign commercial, entitled "Vacation," charges that Oppenheimer was "3,000 miles away" on a trip to Alaska when the Senate convened to vote on the state's tax-cap plan and that her absence was indicative of her lack of concern for the average taxpayer and she has grown lethargic on the job. The ad begins with a man pounding a "For Sale" sign in front of a house, and superimposes Oppenheimer's photo over a cruise ship sailing into the horizon.

For her part, Oppenheimer has said that the Alaska vacation had been planned for over a year, and that even had she been present for the Albany session she would have voted against a tax cap because such measures don't work. She said she favored other ways to bring tax relief.

Feld, who is a Republican mayor from Larchmont, has hammered away on the tax issue…and if there's anything obviously lethargic about Oppenheimer it is that her campaign seems to be unable, or unwilling, to answer the challenger's attack that she is an absentee legislator.  This kind of complacency could be fatal, even in the 37th Senate District where registered Democrats outnumber Republicans.

Not long ago when I spoke to the 12-time incumbent, she was totally unaware, for example that the state Republican Party had set up a Web site, nyinjeopardy.com to attack her and the records of other incumbent Democrats.

You can join in the conversation, too, by calling 914-636-0110. The show airs at noon on WVOX radio, 1460 AM.  You can listen by logging onto wvox.com

Doesn't matter where it came from, or who thought it up.

It seemed like the perfect legislative act, though, for a county whose legislators apparently have nothing better to do than dream up new and condescending ways to rule and regulate our work-a-day lives. Well, the smoking law hasn't happened…not yet, anyway.

But the Nanny State did come up with another one. The new law the board passed the other night prohibits motorists from text-messaging. Now, let's be clear: Anybody bopping down, say, the Hutchinson River Parkway with one hand on the wheel while  the  other hand  taps out coded conversations, deserves a smack in the head.

But I fail to see how the cops are going to enforce this. And get this, text messagers, the law won't even take effect for another six months. Go nuts…LOL.

Kaplowitz's agenda includes cutting the legislative staff,  eliminating certain perks such as a car supplied to the board chairman and the establishment of an inspector general's office to root out corruption in county government. None of these goals will be easy to push through the Democratic-controlled board headed up by Bill "Boss" Ryan.

Kaplowitz will come on the air at 12 noon on WVOX, 1460 AM. You can also listen by logging onto wvox.com. Calls will be taken at 914-636-0110.

This may seem unbelievable but somehow I've managed to gain a groundswell of support to run for president. Some readers may remember my quixotic bid for the U.S. Senate back in '00 against Hillary Clinton and the now forgotten Rick Lazio…I received about 15 write-in votes. I was buried in a landslide. Even my own mother didn't vote for me. The only remnants of that ill-fated campaign is a bunch of leftover Phil Reisman For Senate bumper stickers and a few buttons.

But this is president thing is big because this time there's a legion of people behind me, thanks to the powers of the Internet.

My run for the White House started as a kind of joke in some cyber-space chatrooms…and I admit I found it kind of funny at first. What I didn't realize, however, was just how disaffected American voters are. Before I knew what was happening, the pundits and influential power brokers began to take me seriously. I started getting some press. My name is being plastered on billboards and on the sides of buses.

A political marketing team even produced a campaign commercial for me. Click on it and see for yourself.

Leading the way (drum roll, please) is none other than the well-traveled Andy Spano, county executive of Westchester and Bill "Boss" Ryan, the chairman of the Board of Legislators, who is serving as an alternate.  Others include, County Clerk Tim Idoni, state Sen. Andrea Stewart-Cousins of Yonkers, Carl Washington of Mount Vernon, Roberta D. Graves of Chappaqua, Paul Weaver, Jr. of New Rochelle, Edwin T. Ortiz of Yorktown Heights, and alternate Renee Diaz of Brewster.

Fans of the late "Meet The Press" host are sure to be offended by Lapham's deconstruction of Russert's reputation has a tough-as-nails interviewer who held politicians' feet to the proverbial fire.

Lapham pretty much concludes that Russert wasn't as tough with the inside-the-beltway spinners, dissemblers and outright liars as he should've been—and concludes that as $5 million a year TV personality serving at the pleasure of corporate sponsors Russert wouldn't have survived if his genuine mission was to seek and expose the truth. He compares Russert's style to that of "an accommodating headwaiter,."

That's pretty harsh, but I have to confess that there were aspects to Russert's professional modus operandi that gave me pause.

For example, James Carville and Marty Matalin, the political odd-couple, were frequent guests on his show…not that there was anything inherently wrong with that. What bothered me was the obvious personal friendshhip Russert had with Matalin-Carville, which struck me as a conflict of interest. They are the ultimate spin doctors but Russert, it seemed, was never going to call them on anything to make them look bad to a national audience.

Among the many, many expressions of sorrow over Russert's passing, Matalin noted how Rusert "respected polticians." She added, "He never treated them with cynicism that attends some of these interviews. So they had a place to be loved."

A place to be loved? Let us be reminded here that Matalin is the publishing executive who helped nurture Jerome Corsi's "Obama Nation," the book that may do to Barack Obama what the Swift Boat attacks did to John Kerry.

One wonders how Russert, had he lived, would've handled Matalin's role in this effort to discredit the Democratic candidate for president. Would he have grilled her at the risk of losing a friend?

His job was not to be loved, or to provide a safe haven for loveless pols. As Lapham pointed out there was a time way back in the distant past when a newspaperman would be damned for not having done his job properly if more than two people showed up at his funeral.

Graham, who lives in Chapaqua, is an author and Democratic political commentator. He is also featured in tomorrow's semi-humorous column about Barack Obama's possible choice for a vice presidential running mate.

Catch him  at 12 noon and call in if you like at 914-694-5008.

My guest today is a guy by the name of Morrie Schectman, a managment consultant and author of  "Fifth Wave Leadership: The Internal Frontier." Schectman will talk to us about the modern work culture of anxiety, aggression and shame that is plaguing the corporate offices of America.

The show airs today at 12 noon on WVOX, 1460-AM. You can also listen by logging onto wvox.com.  Calls will also be taken at 914-636-0110.

Today the world knows him as Steven Tyler, the simian front man for the rock super-group Aerosmith

Well, it had to happen. Tyler, aka Tallarico, is now reportedly writing a memoir about his upbringing in the Bronx and lower Westchester, and his days as a wild and crazy rocker. Last summer, I wrote a column about some of his antics at Roosevelt where he is still remembered as one of the school's more colorful pupils.

Tyler's book is to be published by Ecco, a division of HarperCollins. It's will be in book stores some time next year.

Thanks to the modern marvel of portable communication,  government insiders like Kriss are able to yak and yak all day like teenage prom queens before the big dance. It's nothing but an addiction, a technological fetish.

As any observer of Westchester County government knows, Kriss is the $150,000-a-year chief adviser to Bill "Boss" Ryan, the chairman of the board of legislators. Kriss is under a criminal investigation in connection with thousands of dollars of electronic stuff he bought using a county credit card. Among the gadgets were computer software and, yes, cell phones.

Indeed, his use of a county cellphone is also under scrutiny.  It seems that between May and Nov. 6, 2007, Kriss engaged in 18 calls with Domenic Volpe, a Democrat who ran against County Legislator George Oros, R-Cortlandt. Kriss, of course,  is (or was) a loyal servant to Boss Ryan, a Democrat who loves partisan politics and undoubtedly would've knocking another Republican off the board to further consolidate his power.

Questions have arisen over the nature of the Kriss-Volpe conversations as to wheher they were political in nature. If they were political, then they were in direct violation of the county's Code of Conduct and Board policy which prohibits a staff member from doing political work against a sitting legislator.

Kriss's defenders, Ryan being one of them, say the calls were on the up- and-up, even thought they went right up to and included Election Day. I guess they were just yakking about the weather.

Oros won anyway.

I was certainly anxious when we put my mother's Larchmont house up for sale earlier this summer. It was a good house with a nice yard, but modest when held up to the Larchmont  stereotype.

Built in the 1920s with a small, state-of-the-artless kitchen, the house cost about $16,000 when my parents bought it just after the close of the Second World War. It's strong selling points, however, included being in the Murray Avenue Elementary School district and its proximity to the Larchmont train station.

Over the years, its value sky-rocketed as did houses everywhere. The real estate gravy train looked like it would never run out of steam. At the height of the real estate bubble, I was astonished to learn that a house down the block sold for a little more than a million dollars.

I knew we wouldn't get anything near that amount, but by the summer of  2007, I  feared that our timing was unfortunate. The market was beginning to tank. I wondered: Would we get a good price and how long would we have to wait before we got it?

Consulting with the real estate at Coldwell Banker, we decided to ask $729,000. A couple of years earlier when home-sale prices were really going crazy, I would have pegged it at $800,000 or more.

Still, $729,000 was nothing to sneeze at. Well, it turned out the people actually bid on the house and we ultimately sold it for $765,000, much to my relief.

I think we were lucky. We got good advice from savvy real estate people, who remained confident through the process, despite the unrelenting news of a falling real estate  values, failing financial institutions and tightening credit.

Larchmont was a different story, they said reassuringly. This isn't like the messes in Florida, Arizona  or Nevad.

But I think even they were relieved over how well things turned out. That's because a few weeks ago,  I got an advertisement in the mail from Coldwell-Banker. On the front of  it was a picture of my mother's house with a caption on top saying, "Gone in 23 Days!"

Like it was a miracle of biblical proportions.  And maybe it was.

Dan Schorr, a former assistant DA and a Republican is looking to unseat Janet DiFiore, the incumbent prosecutor.

Schorr will be my guest tomorrow on "High Noon," the WVOX radio program I host on Thursdays.

Tune in to 1460 AM or log onto wvox.com. Calls will be taken at 914-636-0110.

UPDATE: Here's the podcast:

Download:

The state comptroller's office has $9 billion in unclaimed funds due to lost addresses,  misplaced bank and stock accounts, etc. Most people don't even know they're entitled to any money until they contact the state. Usually the sums are no more than $100, which explains why they may be forgotten.

Today, I heard from a friend who read my column and discovered that he, too, had money coming to him.  An old-timer called to thank me because he called the state and found that he had two outstanding accounts to collect.

"I'll buy you a bunch of lollipops," he said.

Not everybody is happy, however. A woman from Briarcliff Manor reported to me that she has had a hard time collecting $4,000 in checks she failed to deposit "in a timely manner."  She said it's been a tortuous, year-long process trying to prove the money is hers.

I trust the world will still be here when I get back.

It's one my longer columns because there are so many players in this drama, among them Sam Zherka, the publisher of the Westchester Guardian and a committed enemy of DiFiore's.

I talked to Zherka on the phone about any possible role he might have in the D.A.'s race in 2009, since he gave so much money to the ill-fated campaign of Dennis Robertson, a Democrat who attempted to unseat Yonkers Mayor Phil Amicone last year. Zherka's fortune is owed in part to the receipts of a strip club he owns, which made it a little awkward for Robertson, an avowed family man.

Anyway, Zherka told me that while he won't commit to any one candidate, he'd vote for anyone other than DiFiore. He said he'd even vote for me.

He said "90 percent of politicians are liars." And that he only backed Robertson because Amicone's henchmen removed 56 Guardian vending boxes off the streets of Yonkers.

"If he never stole my news racks, I wouldn't have spent a nickel on that race," he said, adding that 20 boxes are still missing, despite the fact he won a First Amendment lawsuit against the city.

That line didn't make it into tomorrow's column. Nor did Zherka's interesting and as yet unsubstantiated claim that he has had lunch with County Executive Andy Spano on numerous occasions and that Spano has been a guest at his house "a half-dozen times."

Politi

That's the ranking Money magazine just gave Greenburgh, 80th on a list of 100 American cities.  Coming in first was Plymouth, Minn. (Say what?)

Greenburgh was praised for its parks and "remarkably open government."  But this will make Feiner's political enemies sick to their stomachs. The town supervisor is cited for making "house calls" to settle grievances.

Here's the top 10

Feiner has been waging an uphill battle to do away with county government, and believes the county executive's move only adds ammunition to the cause. What do you think?

Listen to the Podcast:

Download:

Here's the letter in full that was published in The Journal News on June 27:

 

• I hope columnist Phil Reisman is satisfied. His recent uncalled-for, incessant, continuing attacks on Westchester County legislative Chairman Bill Ryan have surely contributed to Ryan's need for bypass surgery. Stress can seriously affect health. Although it is true that the recent effort of Ryan to increase county legislator salaries was over-reaching, it most certainly did not warrant the continued attacks on Ryan's integrity. Those of us who have known Bill Ryan since he began his political career know without a doubt that he is an honest, hard-working, dedicated public servant.


• If Reisman wants to serve the good of the public, he should go after the politicians who have really betrayed the public trust. They are well-known and not a bit hard to find. Reisman's vendetta against Ryan is yellow journalism. He owes Ryan an apology

No doubt I was tough in my reporting, but it wasn't personal. Indeed, my "vendetta" is only against governmental greed—and in my view, Ryan's attempt at a salary grab was nothing short of greedy, especially at a time when so many people are facing wage stagnation, higher taxes and job loss. If I harbor any satisfaction at all, it's because his effort failed.

I know nothing of Ryan's health history in terms of his diet or exercise habits. However, I always took him at his word that he worked ridiculously long hours. His self-imposed work regimen was something he used to justify the idea of raising his pay beyond that of a part-time legislator.

In a March 20 column, I wrote the following:

"Ryan claims he toils from 7 a.m. to 8:30 p.m., which sounds like the daily regimen of those workaholic Tokyo executives who never go home, rarely sleep and end up dropping dead on the street. In Japan, they have a word for this; it's called 'karoshi.'

"If the boss of the board is truly working these kinds of hours, and there is no reason to think he isn't, then we must worry about his long-term health."

Three months after those words were written, Ryan underwent heart bypass surgery. Less than two weeks later, he rushed back to the county board to participate in a vote on the county's controversial $13. 6 million purchase and renovation of 450 Saw Mill River Road in Ardsley.

Only his doctor knows if that was a good idea. But I might suggest, as I did in March, that Ryan might do well for himself to slow down a little bit. His full recovery, it seems to me, depends on two things— good medical care and his own common sense.

In the meantime, I only wish him well.

The approval was not a surprise. Spano had the votes line up going in. Indeed, they were so confident that work on the building's air conditioning was already going before the board meeting, according to my sources.

The deal screws Ardsley taxpayers because they''ll have to make up more than $192.000 in lost school tax revenue. Plus, Halpern is suing for a tax reduction going back four years., which will likely cost taxpayers many, many thousands of dollars.

Evidently, Spano and the legislators have been taking a great deal of heat for all this—and I've written more than a few columns on the subject. The public anger is so intense that Andy was moved to send out an e-mail, defending the purchase, repeating the rather dubious claim that the Ardsley building was the best deal out there and that anyone who disagrees (i.e. County Legislator Tom Abinanti and Greenburgh Town Supervisor Paul Feiner) are "fiscally irresponsible."

Received today, here's the Spano e-mail in full, with my title added.

SETTING THE RECORD STRAIGHT ON A CROOKED DEAL

Thank you for contacting me about the purchase of 450 Saw Mill River Road. It is our understanding that your email is based on information you have received from Supervisor Paul Feiner. It is unfortunate that the information he is circulating is false and irresponsible. Here are the facts:

First of all, we do not want to buy any building, but are mandated by the federal government to purchase and store new voting machines. Without a place to store 1500 new voting machines and warehouse the old machines for two years, we'd be in violation of federal law.

Contrary to what you have heard, we have no county facility big enough to house these machines. The county building at 375 Executive Blvd. is full; it would cost $30 million to build a second story extension to increase it to a size necessary to house and maintain the machines.

We did not single out this property owner for special treatment. In fact the county sent out at three different times, requests for proposals to get the lowest price possible on a rental or a purchase. Repeatedly, the building at 450 Saw Mill River Road was by far the least expensive alternative.

Far from rushing this through without public notice, this proposal has been discussed publicly at Board of Legislature meetings and in the press for more than one year, as we attempted to get the best deal for our taxpayers.

Recognizing that taking the property off the tax rolls would be a hardship for the Ardsley School District, we offered to give the District $1 million in capital improvements to make up for the loss of tax revenue. Last year, the Ardsley school board approved the purchase in return for the $1 million. Yet Legislator Abinanti who represents this area, voted against it.

Paul Feiner sent a letter to us in January – not to oppose this purchase, but to ask for $50,000 for the town. The County Executive agreed.

The bottom line: Mr. Feiner (as well as Legislator Abinanti) is being fiscally irresponsible in opposing this purchase. The terms for the purchase of 450 Saw Mill River Road are the most advantageous to county taxpayers. We will get 85,000 square feet of space to use for the storage of the voting machines, needed administrative offices for the Department of Public Safety and storage of records. Plans were already being discussed to build a new Public Safety facility which our police department has greatly outgrown. So 450, besides being the best deal for the storage of the machines, is even more cost effective now that it eliminates a new public safety building which would have cost taxpayers almost $10 million to construct.

I am pleased to have this opportunity to set the record straight. It is of utmost importance to me to run a cost-effective, fiscally responsible government. I pride myself on this, and I assure you that I will continue to do so. I am well aware of the difficulties our residents are experiencing in this economy. That is precisely why I have worked so hard to get the most cost effective and best long term facility for the County.

You frequently hear people say if Connecticut can get by without county government, then why can't Westchester. Well, this book goes into how Connecticut did away with the county system.

Here are some excerpts:

"On the day that the counties ended their near 300 year existence, it is doubtful if many persons other than public officials and political figures were aware of the occasion. For the most part, the passing of Connecticut's county governments occurred quietly and unnoticed by most people." (pg 2-3)

"...criticisms of conduct ranging from secretiveness with which county operations are sometimes carried out to actual acts of malfeasance." (pg 10)

James Bryce in the American Commonwealth in 1888: "Counties are the dark continent of American politics."

There was strong resistance from some politicians because it "provided a lucrative source of patronage to whichever political party controlled the General Assembly."

Abraham Rubicoff, the Democratic nominee for Governor in 1954, described the
counties as a "governmental fifth wheel that is neither efficient nor representative…" and existed "for purely political purposes of power, prestige and patronage." (pg 118)

Tomorrow's meeting of the Board of Legislators is expected to attract a contingent of protesters led by Greenburgh Town Supervisor Paul Feiner, who opposes the purchase of the vacant office building because it will take the property off the tax rolls. The impact would be especially felt by the Ardsley school district which currently reaps more than $192,000 a year in taxes from the building.

County Executive Andy Spano wants to buy and renovate the building in order to store 1,600 new voting machines. As I noted in my Sunday column, the total cost of the deal is pegged at $13.6 millon, which will certainly help the building's owner, John Halpern, a generous contributor to Spano's election campaigns.

One thing I didn't know, but found out today: It turns out that Halpern's firm, Ardsley Partners III, is also in the process of suing Greenburgh for a tax reduction. So, not only would the building no longer pay taxes, the town may end up paying Halpern untold thousands in rebates!

They're going to store voting machines there, but it seems that a cheap circus tent could  just easily do the trick. Well, I've written about this in my column and touched a couple of sore spots with the Spanoista regime when I pointed out that the owner of the building, Jon Halpern, happens to be a generous campaign donor to the county executive.

Anyway, we're going to talk about this deal today on my "High Noon" radio program. Our guest via telephone will be County Legislator Tom Abinanti, D-Greenburgh, who  has opposed the sale.

Tune in to 1460 AM at noon, or log onto wvox.com. Calls as usual will be taken at 914-636-0110.

PODCAST:

Download:

However, one missive that caught my eye came from the wily impresario of the radio airwaves, my old pal, William O'Shaughnessy of Whitney Media in New Rochelle. On June 23, the O-man wrote a letter to his attorney, Erwin Krasnow, about the recent death of the 71-year-old comedian George Carlin. One of Carlin's famous bits had to do with the seven words you can't say on radio.

O'Shaughnessy wrote:

"Counselor:

"We were going to lower the flag to half mast in George Carlin's honor…but then I got a better idea.

"I am instead going to—in his honor—read the "SEVEN DIRTY WORDS" on the air!

"Could you please advise which time slot you think would be the most appropriate to honor this great man.

"And, could you please e-mail me the actual seven words? (I can think of a few.)

"Please get back to me ASAP."

What a jokester. He even added an unprintable post script to the letter…and needless to say, the attorney took the whole thing seriously. The FCC can breathe easy. By the way, Bill, you don't lower the flat at half mast. It's half staff.

For years, I've been bitching about the ridiculous system—I should, say non-system—of billing water users in Yonkers. I live there, so I know what I'm talking about.

Once I got a bill out nowhere demanding I pay $1,200, like it was high-end brand of vodka or something. This outrage routinely happens to city residents, and there are a number of reasons for it which I've pointed out ad nauseum in my Journal News column. That the city did away with regular water-meter readers many years ago had something to do with it. Actually it had a lot to do with it.

The bottom line is that few people believed the biannual bills were fair and accurate. And that posed a big problem for the city.

Well, here's the good news. Pending approval from the City Council, an $18 million , two-year project to upgrade the system will begin in September. The idea is to install state-of-the-art meters outfitted with radio transmitters in every home and business that uses city water, according to David Simpson, who is director of communications for Mayor Phil Amicone.

The meter overhaul will be formally unveiled tomorrow at a 1:30 p.m. press briefing in City Hall, Simpson said.  Part of the presentation includes excerpts from a couple of my columns, which does minor wonders for my fragile ego.

The City Council will hold a public hearing on it at 8 p.m. Tuesday.

A vendor has already been selected to do the job—Ameresco, Inc.—which will install the meter, set up the radio towers and they'll send out notices telling rate payers when the installations will take place.

Simpson said once the meters are installed, rate payers should be more confident that what they're paying is what they actually owe. In some cases, he said, bills will go up.

"I don't want to overstate the problem," Simpson said, "but there are a lot of people ou there who disconnected their meter maybe because they had an illegal apartment, or they turned their meter around and tampered with the sytem and they've been getting away with paying substantially less than they should which meant that it cost more money for everybody else in the district."

The new system will also detect leaks.